


One with the Force

by ShaleenStark



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin (almost) has his shit together, Anakin Skywalker is the Chosen One, Anakin reaches his full potential, BAMF Anakin Skywalker, Gen, Planet Mortis (Star Wars), Tatooine Slave Culture (Star Wars), Time Travel Fix-It, no beta we die like men, the author just love deep lore, the clones deserve all the love !
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27896785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaleenStark/pseuds/ShaleenStark
Summary: As life is leaving him, Anakin accepts his well-deserved end, finding solace in the love of his son in his last moments. But as Obi-Wan and Yoda guide him throught the Netherworld, they tell him this is not the end, and much needs to be done still.Anakin wakes up on Mortis, twenty-five years earlier, in a body he barely registers as his own, with his heart and mind in turmoil, and with decades worth of knowledge that could save the galaxy from Sidious' grasp. Time flows differently on Mortis so Anakin choose to stay there with the Father and to finally learn how to be the Chosen One.As he returns to Coruscant one year later, with a solid plan, unexpected allies and a power he never imagined at the tip of his fingers, he will have to face his demons and be the one the galaxy needs, no matter the price to himself.This fic was born from my undying curiosity for the Star Wars lore, and the absolute desire to see Anakin at his fully blossomed potential. It will be a hard and long path for him to be the Chosen One, but once Anakin is set on something, well we all know how it is !
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 105
Kudos: 453





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome and thank you for reading !
> 
> English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes. 
> 
> I hope you will enjoy the ride, as I will try to post a chapter each month. Bare with me ^^

Everything hurt. Anakin Skywalker was used to pain. From his childhood as a slave, where it was all but expected and learned to endure, to his two decades as Darth Vader, where it had fueled him and given him strength. Pain had always been part of his life. Part of who he was. He was so accustomed to it, he could recognize and name each of its different flavors. And right now, it was the agonizing flavor. The lethal flavor.

Every single molecule in his body felt like he was back on that lava bank on Mustafar, the flames engulfing him, every nerves set ablaze. His respirator was failing, dying as slowly and surely as him, and breathing was a torture in itself, the little oxygen he managed to inhale burning his damaged lunges. The lenses of his helmet were glitching, as his armor succumbed to Sidious' lightings. The various beeps the suit emitted to inform him of the numerous crashing life support were barely audible over the blaring emergency alarms resonating throughout the Death Star. Despite it all, he couldn't bring himself to care. The pain would come to an end soon enough. It would end for good.

Anakin was vaguely aware of being dragged across the floor as Luke no longer had the strength to carry him. Finally, out of breath, his son stopped. Through the damaged lenses, Anakin recognized a hangar. Groups of Stromtroopers and Imperial officers were running for their lives, completely ignoring them. From the angle of the floor against his back, he understood Luke had brought them to a shuttle.

As his son straightened him up, Anakin managed to say :

« Luke...help me take...this mask off. »

Concern flared in the young man's eyes as he responded :

« But you'll die.»

« Nothing can stop that now. Just for once, let me...look on you with my own eyes. »

And Luke, empathetic as ever, understood the urgency and the desperate need in his father's modulated voice. With little confidence but carefully, Luke reached for the helmet's upper layer and lifted it up. Then he removed the remaining part.

The light blinded Anakin's eyes as, for the first time in two decades, he saw the world as it was, and not as the red crude rendering of technology. His Qabbrat was the only place where he could and that was not the world, just another carefully self-crafted prison. But now, he could truly see. See the man before him. His bright, marvelous son. So full of light ! Luke, who didn't even flinched at the sight of his scar-marred face and livid skin. Luke, who immediately saw beyond it and smiled as he truly looked at his father for the first time. Luke, who had his clear blue eyes and blond unruly hair. Luke, who looked so much like Padmé ! He had her nose, and her jaw, and her smile, and the same untamed hope shining in his eyes ! How could he have not seen this before ? His son, Padmé's son !

And, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, Anakin smiled. A real smile, full of love and tenderness and pride. The kind of smile that only Padmé ever saw.

“Now, go, my son. Leave me.”

As he said those words, Luke started nodding his head in disagreement.

“No, you're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you !”

Such determination. The idea of leaving him there to his rightful and deserved end wasn't even an option to him ! How could he love him so much despite everything, Anakin couldn't comprehend but Force! how grateful he was for his son's unlimited ability to do so. For it was precisely what gave him the strength to snuff Vader out of existence, to turn back to the light after having been so completely lost in the dark for so long.

“You already have, Luke.” he said and before Luke could argue he added “ You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister, you were right.”

His sister...He'd never get to know her now. Perhaps it was for the best...He couldn't hurt her now, as he would certainly have. Or more certainly already had. But the thought of her and the presence of Luke brought him to that oh so long searched peace, and another smile graced his lips as he left the life finally leaving him. As his forces vanished for good, he slowly collapsed against the shuttle plank. He didn't deserve the tears Luke was shedding for him as he assured him he would not leave him.

Oh Luke, my dear Luke, may you live forever in happiness and in the light, with those you love and who love you back.

Consciousness left him and he felt his heart stop, yet he strangely was more aware than ever. The Force was cradling him gently and he understood that he was becoming one with it. It was all around him, within him. He was a young child again in the loving embrace of his mother. Yet...he was not alone. Next to him, a presence he now realised he had craved for all those years. Obi-Wan. And also, somehow...Yoda. They were both there, guiding him to the Netherworld of the Force. All he could see was light, but he clearly heard the voice of his former master:

“You have earned your rest, my padawan. But...not yet.”

“Much to do, you still have” Yoda added in a compassionate tone.

What ? It didn't make sense. He fulfilled the prophecy, he destroyed the Sith. He died. What more could be done ?

“Everything.” Obi-Wan replied. “I'm so sorry to ask this of you Anakin, but this is not over. But worry not, my dear friend. We will be with you. Always.”

Anakin didn't understand their meaning. He was at peace, at long last. He called himself Anakin and not Vader anymore. He was done. Please, let him be done.

But when had Anakin ever had what he wanted ?

The Force shifted around him. The light dimmed. Everything felt more solid. The ground beneath him was rough, and the air was hot. Voices were calling out to him. He smelt sulfur. Sulfur...Lava...Mustafar !

His eyes jerked open.

  
  



	2. Awakening

He was lying on the ground. 

After the blessed nothingness of the Netherworld, the reality of the world and the feeling of his own body took his breath away and his muscles all contracted at once, making him jerked to his side, gasping. His reptilian brain was overstimulated and completely stressed out by this drastic change of state, and he couldn't concentrate enough to understand where he was, and what was happening to him as his heartbeat was erratic and he struggled to catch his breath, searching desperately for the artificial rhythm that would bring oxygen into his burned lungs. Propped up on an elbow, his mind was assaulted by his senses. The air was dry and hot, it smelt of molten rock. He could hear someone calling his name. Under his fingers he could feel the bump and cracks of the stone.

That simple fact brought him out of his shock as fast as lightspeed. Looking down at his hand, he saw flesh. No cybernetic, but fully fleshed hand. And he was seeing it in full colors, with his own eyes. With a deliberately slow movement that allowed him to feel the dust under the tip of his fingers and the smallest rocks in his palm, he lifted his hand to his face. It was calloused, after a lifetime of work and tinkering and lightsaber practice. Flexing it, he marvelled at the fast response of his nerves and the sensation of muscles. Sitting properly, he lifted his right hand and found the tightly sealed leather glove that covered his prosthetic.

He then became aware of his breathing. It was now easy, smooth and...natural. He didn't have to fight for it, and didn't hurt all the way down to his trachea. The ever constant sound of his respirator was gone. Before he could think about it, he brought his left hand to his neck and found only soft skin and tunic. No armor. He was wearing his old Jedi outfit. 

Looking up, he took in the environment in front of him. He was sitting on the flat stone of an island in the middle of a lake of lava, at the bottom of a deep pit. The bright color of magma hurt his eyes, used as he was to see things filtered by his optical lenses. It didn't look like Mustafar, yet the place was strangely familiar. He wasn't sure, but it seemed like a voice called his name again.

Nothing made sense. What trick had the old man and the green troll pulled on him ? Was this some way to punish him ? What was he doing in this place, in his old body ? Was this a vision ? Somewhere in the Netherworld ? Why was he feeling so  _ alive _ ? He couldn't be alive...He let his head fall in his hands (and marvelled at the silky sensation of his hair) and sighed. Why could nothing be ever simple ? 

A hand gently came to rest on his shoulder.

“Master ? Can you hear me ?”

His newly beating heart stopped all over again, and his easy breath caught in his throat. Following the voice, Anakin raised his eyes and a deep sadness clutched his soul. Ahsoka was staring at him, worry plain over her teenage face. She was so young ! She had stood tall and proud the last time he saw her...when he killed her. Yet she was here, right next to him, concerned about his well-being.

_ I won't leave you ! Not this time ! _

Disgust replaced sadness. Disgust with himself. How could he have ever turned his blade on her ? Deep in his mind, the artificial voice of Vader was whispering:  _ Jedi. Traitor. She abandoned me.  _ Had she ? She left when the Jedi Council turned on her, like he had, right ? His Padawan, brave and fierce and light. Some much like Luke. The only thing he ever did right within the Order. And the last reminder of Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader. He was so busy trying to kill himself that he hadn't given a damn about killing her.

“Are you okay, Master ?” she asked, worry knitting her brow, as his internal struggle must have been clear as day. 

Unable to believe in her gentle presence beside him, he reached to her face before holding back. Don't touch her, you're going to hurt her. Again !

“Anakin, please talk to us.” another voice pleaded.

His heart missed another beat but it was not sadness that startled him this time. His face hardened and his fist tightened. Obi-Wan appeared behind Ahsoka and he took a step toward them. Before he realized it, Anakin was on his feet, putting distance between him and his former master. The sudden movement made his head spin and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan gasped at Anakin's clearly defensive stance. His eyes were fixed on Obi-Wan, cold and angry as a thousand different thoughts and emotions rushed over him. Obi-Wan, who watched over him and trained him, who fought back to back with him, who looked after Luke...who betrayed him, left him to die on this lava bank, put him in that Force damned suit, who turned Padmé against him...

“Anakin” Obi-Wan started again as he took another step to get closer “What...”

His question died on the spot as Anakin reflexively reached for his lightsaber with a snarl. Hurt was immediately painted all over Obi-Wan, complete incomprehension passed between him and Ahsoka, as she rose to her feet.

The shroud of the Dark Side had lifted and Anakin could now think more clearly than he had in years, and he knew deep within him that some truth he thought certain in the past were no more than facts distorted by the Dark Side. Yet, he couldn't tell the truth from the lie when it came to Obi-Wan. Too much bad blood.

Anakin realized his lightsaber was gone and his first guess was that Obi-Wan, or Ahsoka had taken it from him, but it was nowhere in sight.

“Anakin, it's me” Obi-Wan said desperately “I'm not going to hurt you ! What has the Son done to you ?”

The Son ? What in all the Sith hell was he talking about ? The Son was long dead... It suddenly hit him. Looking around one more time, he understood why that place felt familiar. He had come here before. Mortis. The lair of the Son, next to his tower. He turned his attention back to his master and apprentice. Ahsoka, young and sporting her old lightsabers. Obi-Wan, his hair barely greying and only small crows feet at the corner of his eyes.

His hand fell back to his side as he shook his head.

“It doesn't make sense...” he whispered. His voice came rough and hard as if he hadn't used it in years. He stumbled as he tried to take a step back, struggling to keep on his feet. Ahsoka reflexively reached out to him but her hands froze as Anakin recoiled from her. Slowly, he realized his whole body felt weird, like it wasn't his own, too light, to...comfortable. His legs felt both stronger and more unstable at the same time, which made him dizzy. 

“Talk to us Anakin,” Obi-Wan pressed, “We can't help you, if we don't know what the Son did to you.”

“When are we ?” Anakin asked.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan exchanged a look, baffled. It was clearly not what they were expecting. 

“You mean the date ?” Ahsoka wanted to clarify. He simply nodded.

Her answer grew his dizziness tenfold: almost the end of the second year of the Clone Wars. Rubbing a hand against his eyes, Anakin commented, more to himself than for them:

“It is not possible ! How can...”

The confusion in his companions grew deeper as he said so. He couldn't grasp his situation, and they couldn't pinpoint the source of his puzzlement. Diplomatically, Obi-Wan asked:

“Anakin, what is the last thing you remember ?”

It earned him a suspicious look from the former Sith Lord, but Anakin answered honestly:

“I was dying.” 

That statement cause them to gasp:

“What ?!” Ahsoka shouted while Obi-Wan looked at him straight in the eyes.

“The Death Star was collapsing. The Rebels managed to destroy the core reactor. Again. But Luke...he tried to get me out. Even though I was already half dead. Luke...”

The simple mention of his son's name gave him clarity. He was a general, a former Sith Lord, he used to command fear and respect and lead men into battle. He wasn't some cowering child ! He needed to get a hold of himself ! Taking a deep breath to clear the fog over his head, he straightened his back and stood tall, hands clasped behind his back, gaze focused and hard. 

Make sense of it all first, self-pity later ! 

His change of posture surprised Ahsoka and her eyes grew wider while Obi-Wan frowned deeply.

“What rebels are you talking about ? What is this Death Star ? Who is Luke ?”

Was this a test ? Was he serious ? Anakin's cold stare bore into Obi-Wan's but the man stood his ground.

“You know well” Anakin responded slowly, his voice still rasped.

“I don't !”

The sincerity in Obi-Wan's eyes was poignant. So Anakin tentatively reached out with the Force. 

There. 

The bond he fought hard to rip apart. 

Carefully, like approaching a wild beast, Anakin brushed his mind against Obi-Wan's, who felt it and let his shields down. The all too familiar sensation of Obi-Wan's mind inside his own dripped slowly as Anakin kept his own shields high and unmovable, with the slightest crack to filter what came from outside. There was no lie or deception within the man, only a frantic need to understand and concern for his friend. And as Anakin felt all this in Obi-Wan's mind, his former master must have caught a glimpse of the maelstrom through the crack, as soon as, like a blanket, Obi-Wan's presence wrapped around him, soothing, comforting. Just like he used to do when, in their first years together, Anakin came awake from visions and nightmares. Immediately, Anakin felt his shoulders slump. He had missed this ! He had missed Obi-Wan ! No matter how things had ended between them, he had missed his best friend. When he had struck him down, when the dying remnants of their bond had disappeared, oh how lonely had he felt ! An unbearable loneliness. And it was so much more confusing, because now Anakin could no longer tell if he loved or hated the man.

Choosing not to dwell on the matter now, Anakin asked :

“What is the last thing  _ you _ remember ?”

“When the Father came to our ship without you, I suspected something was afoot.” Obi-Wan explained. “He told me you came to him for guidance, then here to confront the Son. I didn't like it, so I came after you. I found you lying on the ground, unconscious and alone. I tried to wake you up, but nothing worked. I even tried using the Force through our bond, it seemed like nothing could bring you back to this world. I contacted Ahsoka so she could help me bring you back to the ship. She'd just arrived when you woke up.”

“I put the ship back together so I flew it here. I managed to land in a relatively flat area close by, you'd have been proud !” Ahsoka added. “Then I came down thanks to a mix of rope and Force and luck. Took me forever, but you hogged the two speeder-bikes.”

“How long have I been unconscious ?”

“Well, it's been about an hour since I found you, so maybe more.”

Anakin focused to remember what had happened the first time he came here, ages ago. Bit by bit, he recreated the map of his memories. He had gone to the Father, who had advised him to seek an answer by following the will of the Force. He remembered the ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn telling him to find a third option. That he would face his demons and save the universe. Well, he had been a little late for that one. He then had come down here, and the Son had offered him a vision of his future. But just a glimpse, enough to twist the truth and make him make the wrong choice, so the Father had erased those memories...which were now...back ? Ugh, he could feel a headache coming. But yes, things had definitely transpired differently last time.

“Was there anything amiss within me ? With my Force signature ?” he asked Obi-Wan.

“ Yes. The Force moved around you strangely. It even felt like it was working against me when I called upon it to wake you. It was flowing inside you like blood in your veins, like a net trapping your mind inside your body, unwilling to give it back. I never felt anything like this before. I sometimes felt something alike when you had visions in your sleep, years ago. Was that what you saw ? A vision ?”

“It cannot be. A vision cannot be this detailed, this intense, and most certainly not this long. I did not just see those things, I  _ lived _ them ! Every part of it.”

“I never heard about a vision lasting an entire hour either “ Ahsoka remarked.

“It was not a mere hour for me”

“How long then ?” Obi-Wan wondered.

“Twenty-five years.”

If Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had looked incredulous before, now they were well past it. Obi-Wan was even at a loss for words, which in itself deserved to be marked down in History books. 

“Alright,  _ that _ never happened to anyone, like ever.” Ahsoka pondered “But neither being stranded in a Force-ruled planet, inhabited by litteral embodiments of the Force, so, yeah weird, but are we really surprised at that point ?”

The corner of Anakin's mouth turned slightly upward at this, Ahsoka's effort to relieve the tension just a bit actually working.

“You're telling us that, in the span of an hour, you spend half a life-time in a vision ?” Obi-Wan clarified “No wonder you're so confused ! Is this the Son's doing ?”

“I could not say.” Anakin admitted “I am still not convinced it was a vision at all.”

“What else could it be ?”

At that, Anakin temper flared up:

“How could I know ! I just died. I lived my life, as poorly as ever. And I paid for my mistakes with it, with only Luke to cry for me. I was in the Netherworld for an instant then I woke up here. Everything is a mess, and I understand as little as you do. So stop pestering me, Kenobi !”

He spatted the name like an insult and the still open bound between them resonated with anguish. Which awoke a jolt of guilt in him.

“Who is Luke ?” Ahsoka asked gently.

At the name all anger left Anakin as soon as it came. He sighed, shaking his head.

“He's the Light” he said lovingly.

His companions exchanged a look, and Anakin reoriented the conversation toward a safer subject:

“We need to find out what happened. And find my lightsaber along the way. If I remember correctly, the Son took it.”

“We have to speak to the Father about it all” Obi-Wan agreed “We cannot let the Son leave the planet, and understand what he did to you. No matter what it was...it has changed you...”

Anakin considered him with an arched eyebrow. Wasn't that just stating the obvious...But the looks his Padawan and former master were giving him made him pause and for the first time since he opened his eyes on this island, he tried to look through theirs. He was here, standing motionless, hands clasped behind his back, his gaze cold and his emotions a hurricane at the other end of their bonds, trying to make sense and explain with a steel voice underlined by a Coruscanti accent imposed by decades among Imperial top hats...For them, it had only been a couple of hours since the last time he'd been his old passionate, brash and “always-on-the-move” self. He must look like a completely different person to them. Which wasn't entirely wrong. He was barely making sense of it all himself, so the situation must be hard on them too. But he couldn't just unwind his frustration on them. It wasn't fair. It was the way of the Dark Side. And Anakin realized he would rather jump in the lava right now than going down that road again. It cost everyone everything. 

So Anakin relaxed his composure, trying hard to remember his old mannerism, and said as gently as he could:

“Let's go to the Father. With luck, he has the answers.”

He gestured to them to take the lead, and, with a last inquisitive glance, Obi-Wan turned toward the two bikes. Beside him, Anakin could feel Ahsoka's worry for him. He searched for words to appease her, but he had long fallen out of that kind of practice, and all that threatened to come out was military rebuke, so he remained silent. 

Intending to follow Obi-Wan, Anakin took a step and immediately fell on his knees as his sense of balance was completely upset by his newly regained flesh limbs. The combined weight of his armor, his life-support system and his prosthetics no longer weighing him down he struggled between his muscles knowing what to do and his brain mixing up living parts and droid ones. It had been so long since he'd been more human than machine...He felt Ahsoka kneel beside him, offering her extended hands, silently waiting for permission. Still afraid to hurt her in any way, Anakin hesitated. But he couldn't just stay here, he had to move, and obviously with the need of someone's help. With a sigh, he nodded, and Ahsoka passed his arm around her shoulder, providing steady support as he stood again. Obi-Wan, who certainly guessed he would have been rebuffed, stood a few meters again.

As he sat behind her on the speeder, he was confronted by how easy it was to trust Ahsoka again. Where just being near Obi-Wan was cause of great turmoil and he still couldn't decide if he wanted to hug or behead the man, Ahsoka's light drew him close immediately. As they rose to the surface, he remembered how hurt he had been when she left. He had felt like a failure for not being able to train a padawan properly. But in the end, she was one of the few skilled enough to survive Order 66 and the Inquisitorus. 

When they finally reached floor level, she pointed toward the ship. She had managed to land it between two sharp ridges on a steep legde. He allowed himself to rest his hand on her shoulder:

“Proud indeed” he said with a small smirk.

“Told you” she replied with a smirk of her own. 

As Obi-Wan led the way inside the ship, Ahsoka helped Anakin again and they agreed it would be best if she was the one to fly their shuttle. In the state Anakin was in, he would just crash the thing again.

“And I spend too much time putting it back together !”

“There's one thing I don't understand,” remarked Obi-Wan as everyone was taking their seat. “While we were down there, the Son had all the opportunities to steal the ship, now that it's functional. Yet he didn't.”

“Maybe he is just as shook as we are” Anakin wondered aloud “I do not think he expected what happened. He only wanted to give me a glimpse of my future, in a light that would benefit him.”

“And instead you saw all of it.” Obi-Wan concluded. “Maybe it's because of the planet. It is so strong with the Force, as you are. Maybe he didn't judge accurately the extent of what little things could do to you in such a...favorable environment.”

Anakin felt suddenly too tired to think about it, so he just said flatly:

“Maybe.”

Ahsoka fired the engines and soon they were in the air, heading for the Father's monastery. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka kept chatting with mild voices, trying to formulate a plan for the hours to come and hypothesize as to what could have happened to Anakin. Who, for his part, remained silent. They were talking about fighting the Son, about confrontation, about how they could get back to the fleet's flagship to go on with the war...Ironically, it was all this talk of war that drained the fight out of Anakin. He suddenly felt every bit of his 46 years as he recognized he'd spent his whole life fighting. It used to be the air he breathed, the blood in his veins, even before he became a Sith. He'd been fighting just to stay alive ever since he was a child. And now, he was so very tired of it. 

He didn't want to be here. He had died and wished he had remained so, as peace had finally found him. As violence was his everyday, he had never truly understood and valued the concept of peace, but now he'd had a taste of it, he wanted it back. But he was thrown into war again, denied the merciful embrace of death. Perhaps because he didn't deserve it. The Force had judged him for his mistakes and sent him back to make it right before being granted what he wanted. Was that it ? A chance to start again and make sure the future he saw (came from ?) never happened ? The enormity of the task and all it implied crashed down on him with the weight of a planet as he let his head fall into his hand, and he couldn't hold the desperate sight that escaped his lips. Watching in the distance by the viewport, he didn't bother to hide the others how weary he was, from his bones to his very soul. 

He felt Obi-Wan's gaze on him, and once again Anakin couldn't figure what to feel toward the man. His head  _ knew  _ he'd believed in a lie for two decades, but his heart was still tangled in the lasting emotions this lie brought about. And, sooner than later, he would have to address it. 

Just as he'd have to face the Jedi again...

And Palpatine. 

That simple fact awoke a fear so strong he started having trouble breathing again. Palpatine...Chancellor and friendly mentor. Who manipulated him into destroying everything he held dear. Who enslaved him all over again and in the worst way possible. So strong in the Force he would notice instantly something was amiss with Anakin. He didn't stand a chance ! The only reason he'd been able to kill him before was because the Emperor had not expected his betrayal. Now he would understand that Anakin knew ! He would act accordingly, with all his wit, and Anakin wouldn't be able to do a thing. He would be beneath his heel once more and it would start over, or even worse !

It's only when Ahsoka knelt in front of him and gathered his hands in hers that Anakin realized they were shaking. His breathing was ragged, he couldn't stop the tremblings and his vision tunneled as a full panic attack hit him. Ahsoka was whispering something he couldn't make sense of as his mind was focused on the primal fear Palpatine instilled in him. He saw Obi-Wan join them and put his own hands on theirs, and a steady wave of warmth started to spread in his chest, evening his breath, slowing his heartbeat and allowing him control over his muscles, as the two of them used their Force bond to calm him. Closing his eyes and taking deep breath, he focused on their presence. When he opened them again, the panic was gone. His master and padawan were looking at him silently, but he could feel their worry.

Untangling their hands and looking away, he said lowly:

“It's nothing” ashamed of his weakness.

Fortunately, none of them chose to comment. Instead, Ahsoka stood and said:

“We've arrived.”

Indeed, as he looked by the viewport, Anakin recognized the tower of the monastery. Ahsoka had landed the ship in a corner of the courtyard. He stood, searched within himself the strength and resolve to stand on his legs by himself, and walk toward the exit of the ship.

“Let's go then,” he said in a voice he wanted firm.

It was still night but the stars shone brightly and the crystal atop the tower bathed the place in a soft white light. The Father was there, standing on the platform overlooking the whole area. He stood motionless, his hands crossed before him, gazing down at them. His face was unreadable as his eyes followed them as they approached him. His attention then fell on Anakin and a deep frown appeared on his features. 

“I'm afraid we are in need of your help once again” Obi-Wan said loudly so his voice could carry to the Father. “Your Son keeps misbehaving !”

The Father remained silent, his eyes fixated on Anakin, as if laying his soul bare. Anakin held his gaze, waiting for any kind of response. After minutes of silence, Anakin heard Ahsoka mumbling under her breath:

“This is getting awkward...”

As if taking his cue, the Father held his hands on his sides and floated down to them, strode straight past Obi-Wan and looked Anakin up and down.

“This...is far beyond misbehaving” he finally said in his deep echoing voice. “He broke the laws of time. And the Force seems to have allow it.”

“Do you know what happened to me ?” Anakin asked eagerly. “Was all of this a vision ? Or did I...travel back in time somehow ?”

“Neither ! And both !” 

Good old anger spiked again at that. On either side of the Force, he always hated cryptic:

“Which one ? Make up your mind !”

“Does it really matter to know which one ? What happened happened, and you know what you know. I could try to erase it...”

“You already did that once. You and your son are not welcome in my mind !”

“I don't think the Force would let me, anyway.”

“What do you mean “the Force would not let you”?” Obi-Wan intervened.

“It wouldn't feel right to try” the Father explained “Everything around you, Chosen One, screams of the Force intervention. You are where you are now because It willed it. What happened to you happened for a reason, and it cannot be changed. What can be lies ahead. You've been given a chance to change your path, and with it, the path of the galaxy.”

So he had guessed right. He blew everything to pieces, so now he had to clean the mess. The general and leader in him couldn't argue, the punishment was fitting the crime. There was just one problem:

“I cannot,” he said, defeated. “I am not strong enough.”

“You are,” the Father said firmly. “You only have to discover it. As I told you before, let go of your guilt !”

“I can't ! I couldn't do it the first time, and my guilt was almost trivial then, compared to now.”

“If Luke could forgive you, so can you” the Father said placidly.

That was a low blow, and Anakin's jaw clenched tightly. 

“And you don't have to do everything by yourself. You are not alone, after all” the Father added pointing to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

“He's right, master. Whatever it is you need to do, you can count on me,”

“On me as well” Obi-Wan added “I thought you knew that.”

Did he ? No. Anakin had loved Obi-Wan but had always been wary of him when it came to his inner troubles. He wanted to trust the man to share his demons, but he couldn't trust the Jedi, knowing Obi-Wan would always put the Order, and the Republic, before him. Refusing to think about it now, Anakin said:

“I won't be able to change anything if we don't stop your Son anyway.”

“Anakin's right” Obi-Wan said, stroking his beard “As long as the Son poses a threat, not much can be done. How did this ended...your first time around ?”

“If memory serves well, we were all here. You, Father, tried to convince your son to resist the Dark Side and stay on the planet. He would have none of it. So you took the blade he used to kill the Daughter and turned it on yourself. As his power flows through you, doing such you took it away, and I stabbed him. You both died.”

“If we could change that too, it would be nice,” Ahsoka remarked.

“One thing already changed: I don't have my lightsaber. The Son must have kept it.”

“If there is no other way to protect the galaxy, then so shall it be.” the Father said sadly.

Something tugged at Anakin. He couldn't say what. Every instinct he had told him to go for a fight. But his weariness lingered, and he felt unrest. Doing everything as he had done before would lead back to the same end result: catastrophe. If he really was here to change things, better start as soon as possible, and rushing into this head first without any other plan than  _ Stab-Kill _ was not the best idea. Qui-Gon's voice echoed in his mind “ _ Look deeper. You will find another way _ ”. Another way...He had always fixed his problems by using his lightsaber and brute force. 

_ Ever since I've known you, you've been playing with droids.  _

_ I used to put them together. Now I only take them apart. _

The memory came out of nowhere to crash his train of thought, reminding him of a simple truth. He used to  _ fix _ things, finding the source of the problem and working to solve it to make the whole work again. And he'd always been good at it. Watto had made quite a lot of money on his ability to repair the unrepairable. Was this the solution ? To “fix” the Son ? The dark being had shown the good in him, through his love for his sister, and his father. He had not wanted the Father dead, in the end. Could the Son be saved the same way he himself had been ? Could Anakin even pull this off ? As he remembered his son's face, Anakin resolved to at least try. He owed it to Luke, and to his unshakable faith in him.

“I will try to save him.” Anakin said.

The three others turned to him, baffled.

“If I'm met with failure, then we shall kill him, as we did the first time” he said looking to the Father “but first, I would have a try at this. There is good in him, you know it, I saw it.”

“Anakin, I appreciate that you don't think with your lightsaber for once, but surely, if the Father cannot bring the Son back to the Light, how could you ?”

Anakin turned to Obi-Wan, who added apologetically:

“I trust your abilities but...”

“I understand your point.” Anakin cut.

“Then how ?”

Anakin sighed and looked at the Father again, who was staring at him with renewed hope and gratitude. He then turned back to Obi-Wan:

“Because we are the same, the Son and I.”

At this, Obi-Wan seemed almost outraged:

“ _ That _ couldn't be further from the truth. I know you, and you are nothing like him.”

“You don't know a thing about me. Not anymore.”

Obi-Wan gasped and took a step back, while Ahsoka barked something angrily at him. Anakin didn't mean it as cruel or tried to hurt Obi-Wan deliberately. But it was the truth. Obi-Wan had ignored a lot of things about Anakin the first time, and now he was even more foreign to the man.

“If you try, you will first need to clear your mind, or you will fall easy prey for my son.”

Taking this opportunity to regained his composure, Obi-Wan whole-heartingly agreed:

“Indeed. We should  _ all _ meditate while we have the time. There are many emotions to release into the Force and we will need all our focus to face the Son.”

Saying so, he sat on his heels in the typical meditation position. Ahsoka and the Father did the same, forming a circle waiting to be closed by Anakin. Except he remained standing, apprehension gnawing at him. He didn't know how to do that anymore. The only meditation he mastered was Dark Side meditation, which required to focus on emotion such as anger, hatred, and physical pain. He'd never been very good at Light Side meditation, and he hadn't call to the Force since he woke up here, except for simple perceptive skills. This was different. This was deeper, more complexe. And technically he'd only came back from the Dark Side a few hours ago !

The others must have sensed his unease as they watch him questioningly. The Father asked:

“Don't you trust the Force ?”

“It's not the Force I don't trust...”

“But yourself.” 

Anakin clenched his jaw once more. He held no illusions. He could feel the Dark Side lurking inside him. Weakened, but still there. Whispering in every burst of anger, in every doubt, in every habit. He feared if he called to the Force, the Dark Side would wake and be the first to answer. He feared that, without Luke, he would be seduced and fall again. He would hurt Ahsoka again. Obi-Wan would mutilate him again. And there would be no one to bring him back this time. He was a weak monster, after all.

Still kneeling, the Father gestured form him to join them:

“Would you trust me to guide you ?”

That was indeed a good question. By bringing them here, the Father had shown poor judgement, yet, of all the people present he was the most attune with the Force and the one who understood Anakin's ordeal the most. He was not as deeply connected to his old life as Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. So, surprisingly, Anakin found that yes, he could trust the Father to guide him. So he nodded and, reluctantly, knelt as well, at the center of the circle, at the center of the courtyard.

“Can we help in any way ?” Ahsoka asked.

Sweet, kind Ahsoka, always willing to help no matter what...

“Yes. Enter your own meditative trance. Ground yourself into the Light and you will ground  _ it _ here. You are his teacher and his student, you know him, even if he is now different, he is yet still the same. Show the way.”

They both nodded and closed their eyes. Anakin couldn't tell if the release of their emotion came easily, but they fell in a meditative state fast enough. 

“Focus on your friend's presence” the Father instructed. “They are your beacon in the dark, your anchor in the currents of the Force. If you feel yourself getting lost, search for them. Now close your eyes, and call to the Force.”

Anakin extended his senses and let his perception brush against Ahsoka and Obi-Wan's Force signatures, letting them soak his mind so that they became a background aura as familiar as his own thoughts. He tried to empty his mind, but his awareness kept coming back to the amazing steadiness of his breath. It used to be so disturbing and loud, it kept him for proper rest, made sleep barely impossible. His respirator had become a background noise filling his days and nights, preventing any kind of blissful silence. Always ticking like a clock measuring his life. Without it, his breath was now soft and quiet, easy and painless. But it still draws his focus. Away from the fear still eating at him. Once he realised that fear was there, his thoughts kept circling back to it. The familiar cold of the Dark Side was brushing against his skin, so he held on Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's light, holding the cold at bay.

“Feel, don't think” the Father said, echoing Qui-Gon's words from so long ago. “Let your mind go blank and the Force fill it.”

Anakin couldn't do that. Two decades of Dark Side meditation had left him unable to do so. He was reflexively searching something to focus on. His fear, the disconcerting absence of physical pain, his remaining distrust toward Obi-Wan...He was upset and afraid, so his grasp on his companion's presence was shaky at best, and all he could think of was no good. He tried to remember that wonderful sense of peace he felt as Luke held him as life was leaving him. Luke...The thought of his son lit a beacon inside his heart. Like a nocturnal animal the Dark Side retreated deep inside of him as Luke's memory illuminated Anakin from within. His love had been so pure, so unconditional. How frightened he must have been when he faced him and the Emperor, yet he still came, still fought, his firm belief in his father's goodness had made him stronger than Palpatine, his kindness had given him victory in the face of Sidious' certainty he could have whatever he wanted. Luke was everything that was good in this world and Anakin loved him for it. His love for Luke was about Luke himself, not about how he felt about Luke, it was selfless, and  _ that _ was what saved him. 

That realisation made everything else fade away. It erased every feeling, every thought, leaving nothing but the sweet and forgotten embrace of the Force untainted. It was wrapping itself around Anakin like a soft blanket of warmth, absorbing all the darkness from Anakin. Oh, how could he have ever forgot this feeling ?! A sob escaped him as tears started rolling on his cheeks. Tears of relief. 

It was like coming home. 

It was the warm Naboo sun on a summer morning by the lake. 

It was the 501's cheers after a mission well done against the Separatist army. 

It was Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's presence right by his side. 

It was his mother's tender smile.

It was Padmé's bright laughter.

Padmé. She was  _ alive _ . When they leave this place, he would see her again. He would hold her again. Uncontainable joy exploded in him as he knew that no longer would he miss her soft voice. Her eyes, full of hope and light and cheekiness and defiance. The softness of her curls. The scent of her skin. The taste of her lips. The way she said his name. All the things he had destroyed himself.

The joy disappeared in a heartbeat washed away by the cold, hard truth: he had killed her ! She was trying to save him and he crushed her throat. Horror seized him at the memory of her body falling to the ground. In rage he had killed her, and almost killed Luke and his sister along with her. Just like he had slaughtered the younglings in the Temple. Defenseless, scared children. Whose only mistake was to be there. He had snuffed the life out of them brutally with the blade of his lightsaber days before he was to be a father himself. That act in itself had denied him the right to be a father. He didn't deserve his children. He had executed those poor kids, choked the mother of his own. He had butchered the Separatist leaders and enjoyed it. He had mercilessly killed the Jedi in the Temple and hunted down those who escaped. He had taken the lives of thousands without remorse, without a single afterthought, even took pleasure in the suffering of others sometimes. He had stood motionless as the Death Star obliterated Alderaan and forced its princess to watch. He had lied, threatened, maimed, tortured, subjugated, caused so much fear he had become the most hated man in the galaxy. He had destroyed all he once sworn to protect, from the love of his life to the galaxy itself. The sob that escaped him this time was made of nothing but despair.

All those crimes, all those atrocities punched him in the guts with so much force he barely managed not to throw up. His consciousness was thrown back into the present and out of the arms of the Force. As the weight of all those deaths crashed on his chest, he fell on his hands. His actions for the past twenty years were clawing at his heart, tearing it apart in a much deserved pain. Hot tears were now streaming on his face and he could swear the little boy he used to be was standing in front of him, in his slave rags, his eyes accusing and his lips twisted in disgust.

_ You screwed up EVERYTHING ! _

Unable to contain it longer, Anakin let out a long, strangled cry that ripped his throat, that expressed all of his guilt, his agony, and his self-loathing.

Obi-Wan's heart broke. Within the last hours, it had gone through so many shocks, bumps and sucker-punches, he didn't believe it could be shaken more. But the sound of Anakin shattering right before him proved how wrong he was.

He should be used to it by now, worrying about Anakin. It had been his every day for the past twelve years. From the slight concern of “will Anakin ever be able to find his way to his classes without getting late because of the five droids he built in between'' to the outright distress of no longer being able to find his Force signature in the middle of a space battle, Obi-Wan could name every shade of disquiet the boy awoke in him. But today, like everything on this planet, was different and far more intense. Their time in this strange place affected Anakin the most. In a way even more so than Ahsoka who literally died and came back to life, for it forced him to reconsider all his life and everything he thought he knew about himself. Anakin had always rejected the mantle of Chosen One, yet here, he had to face a reality he didn't want to accept. 

And as Anakin had entered meditation, Obi-Wan had watched the world itself react to it, as the engravings on the ground lit up the same way it did when Anakin tamed the Daughter and the Son. The Force had embraced Anakin lovingly, tenderly, like two beings who've been kept apart for too long and finally reunited, Anakin welcoming it into him and the Force all but too happy to fill him again and cradle him into its arms. It felt warm, and safe. Anakin had let out a sob and tears started falling below his closed eyelids, as that feeling of peace and longing anchored itself into him. Obi-Wan couldn't help a small smile. Which soon disappeared. 

Within the split of a second, Anakin's mood changed completely. The Force was still holding him, but something inside him had summoned such a massive wave of guilt, it washed everything else away with the blind power and ferocity of a tsunami, so powerful Anakin fell on his hands, his tears now of pure despair. Where there was but peace and comfort inside Anakin's mind, there was now nothing but agony, remorse, horror and an amount of self-loathing too big to be contained. 

And the cry Anakin let out would forever echo in Obi-Wan's nightmares. It broke the silence like an explosion, reasoning with all the emotions Anakin couldn't keep in himself anymore, and never Obi-Wan would have imagined such a sound coming out of him. It reverberated along their bond, crushing his heart with Anakin's pain, doubling his own. He heard Ahoska sob as well as she, too, was assaulted by it. The planet itself reacted again to Anakin's power and emotions. The sky had turned dark and cloudy, the air heavy with electricity, the wind speeding up, flapping their clothes and hair violently.

Anakin was now holding his head between his hands, squeezing it, as if trying to crush it, eyes unseeing and red as tears kept streaming down his face. His emotions spiked, catching his breath, squashing his heart. When suddenly Obi-Wan felt echoing in him a deep desire for death, he couldn't stand it anymore. 

He stood and took the few steps that separated him from Anakin and, in an unusual physical display of affection, gently took Anakin's shoulder and brought him in his arms to hold him. Anakin fought it immediately, pushing him away both physically and inside the Force.

_ Get away from me ! _

Even though Anakin hadn't said a word, his command was as good as yelled in his ears through the Force, and the ground actually cracked around his feet. Obi-Wan couldn't tell if Anakin was rejecting him out of fury, out of a feeling of being unworthy of Obi-Wan's affection, out of a self-defense reflex, out of hatred for Obi-Wan and for himself. Obi-Wan didn't care. He brought Anakin back against him, soothing him with a low, gentle shush. But Anakin kept fighting, screaming. And the more he fought, the more the wind would slap Obi-Wan mercilessly. A thunderclap deafened him, and the ground started to shake. Then he felt the Force tighten around his throat painfully and began suffocating quickly. Ahsoka rushed to help, not by pushing them apart, but by taking Anakin's hands into her own, whispering gently. Her touch seemed to quite the fight inside of Anakin and the pressure around Obi-Wan's airways lessened, as the storm around them lessened.

They stayed like this for a long time, Obi-Wan holding Anakin against him, Ahsoka drawing circles on his hands with her thumbs calmingly, until Anakin sobs became silent and his body limp. As Obi-Wan and Ahsoka looked at each-other, he noticed they were both crying too as Anakin felt empty between them. 

No matter what the Son had done or intended to do to Anakin, it had worked. 

Anakin was utterly broken.


	3. The Path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone ^^  
> Thank you so much for all of your kind comments and kudos, so here's the new chapter.  
> And what a better way to start a new year than with angst and sadness right ?!  
> Pro-tip: Hanz Zimmer's Time starting the Son's appareance for maximum pain :p

They stayed like this for quite a time. Probably minutes, but to Anakin, it felt like hours. His mind had gone blank to prevent him from breaking irrevocably. He felt nothing. Just the breeze against his face, Ahsoka's skin against his hands, Obi-Wan's tunic in his neck. It was soothing, grounding. After the hurricane of emotions that trampled on everything inside him, the tide had receded leaving behind nothing but ruins and broken debris. Stillness settled over him, that deafening calm after the storm. Yet, it offered him clarity. The fog on the path before him was lifting, and Anakin knew where he was supposed to go. The path was tortuous, full of bumps and twists, but it was the right one, he could feel it. 

He straightened himself. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan reacted to the movement immediately.

“Master ? How do you feel ?” Ahsoka asked still holding his hand,

“I'm...better” he replied with a soft small smile. “I'm not alright, but that will come. With time. And effort.”

“What do you need ?” Obi-Wan asked gently.

“For now, to deal with the Son, and get yo...us out of here.”

“Are you...in any shape to face the Son right now ?” Obi-Wan remarked with plain concern.

“Yes. I am not boasting or lying” he added when he saw their expression “I know I just went through...a lot. But I do really feel able to face the Son like I need to.”

“What do you mean ?”

“I guess we will have to wait and see.” he answered cryptically. 

He turned to the Father, who stood motionless a few yards away from them, giving them privacy. He had watched the whole ordeal without interfering, which Anakin was grateful for. 

“You should get ready.” he said to his companions. “We will need all of our strength. I require but a moment with the Father.”

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan nodded as he stood up. As he walked toward him, the Father gesture him to follow him:

“Come walk a bit with me.”

A door appeared in the wall, leading back into the monastery. They remained silent as they moved further away from Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, and the door remained open, so that the Jedi Master and the Padawan didn't lose sight of them. The corridor was dim-lighted, its walls and ceiling beautifully engraved, like old celestial maps.

“You will not tell me, then ?” Anakin asked. “What truly happened to me...”

“As I told you before, in the grand scheme of things, it is of little consequences. Did you travel back in time after your death, or were you given a vision so detailed you can't tell the difference ? In both cases, you are here, now, with all the knowledge it has given you.”

“So it is my penance.”

“Why do you insist on seeing it as a bad thing ? See it more as a gift: the Force has granted you the chance to start over. You have seen where you've gone wrong before. You can now go in another direction.”

“But who's to say I will do better this time ?” Anakin asked, faith in himself non existent.

“You are older. Hopefully wiser. And you learn from your mistakes. Now, the only thing standing between you and a better path is but yourself.”

The Father stopped and turned to look at Anakin with eyes full of compassion.

“You have always been your worst enemy. I know so, because it is true for every living being. We have desires and demons, both that we often misunderstand and it leads us astray. You are fortunate to know where those misinterpreted feelings would lead you to if you don't stop and try to have a better grasp on them. Like gathering a crystal for your lightsaber: you have to look inside yourself, and overcome your fears. It is never a pleasant step to take, but it must be taken !”

Anakin looked down. Facing his fears...He had never been good at this either. He always turned a blind eye to his own fault, refusing to accept them, thinking it made him lesser, weaker. But in the end, wasn't it what had doomed him ? Among many things...

He looked up to glance at Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. The young Togruta was doing a simple Ataru kata, a trick he taught her to help her work through anxiety while perfecting her skills. Obi-Wan corrected her on her stance and they exchanged friendly smiles. Yes, they would be alright together...

As if reading his mind, the Father said knowingly:

“Don't push people aside anymore. You need them, just as they need you.”

Anakin turned to him again, resolve unyielding for the first time in long weeks:

“If I am to change History, I need to be strong. Steadfast in both spirit and power. Which I am not right now. Darth Sidious is more powerful than me...

“Is he, though ?” he father cut with a sly smile.

“Yes ! Everyone keeps telling me I'm the Chosen One, that I have more power than I could dream of. I am powerful, and I know it, but never as much as you all seem to believe. And I spent more than twenty years with four mechanical limbs, trapped within a suit that made me more machine than man. It all weakened my connexion to the Force beyond measure and I have to learn everything again. And Sidious...His mind is unwavering and he has a far vaster knowledge of the Force than I do. We are already deep within his masterplan, few options are left now. I'm not ready. I am not stable enough to even be in his presence now. I am barely out of the Dark, struggling through simple meditation. I have no idea how to undo his plan. Even if I am now aware of much of it, I still ignore many of his contegiencies, and I won't get a third chance !”

Anakin sighed heavily, all too aware of the colossal task in front of him. And the first step was facing his mistakes, in the flesh. He'll have to go back to the Jedi Temple, walk among its beautiful golden halls, alive with the sound of laughing younglings and the training exercises of the Initiates, he'll have to look at the faces of all those people he killed. He'd have to take the rigorous stare of Mace Windu while pretending not to hear him begging to have a flare of good sense once in his life and let him kill Palpatine. He'll have to pretend he didn't see the sprawled body of Cin Drallig every time they cross paths in the dojo. He'll have to not freeze in place every time a youngling walks by...He'll have to face the 501 th while trying not to feel sick at how Sidious would turn their undying loyalty with a Force-damned brainwashing chip. He'd have to watch Padmé in the eyes and pretend he didn't destroy her in every way...The sheer terror he felt at the thought of all this left him nauseous already...

“I need time. I'm not ready.”

The Father looked at him intently, brow furrowed:

“But you have decided something.”

“If I remember correctly, time here is different right ? It doesn't flow at the same rate as off-planet.”

“That is correct.”

“Can you tell how much time passes in the galaxy while being here ?”

Starting to see where Anakin was going, the Father let another sly smile onto his lips:

“I can indeed.”

Anakin stood taller. With the ease of an experienced commander, he addressed the Father, voice steady:

“I offer you this bargain then. I will do my best to save your son. Then you will let my friends leave this planet. You wanted me to stay and take your place. I cannot do that. But, if you agree, I will remain. Not forever, just long enough for me to...learn how to be myself again. I would greatly appreciate it if you accepted to train me in the ways of the Force that I'm still ignorant of. You want me to be the Chosen One, then show me how. Help me reach my true potential. But I cannot be gone from the world too long. When a year at top has passed outside, you will tell me, and ready or not, I will go and try to fulfill my destiny.”

The Father considered the man in front of him, his youthful traits not reflecting his inner age. Yet his clear blue eyes were focused. Moving shadows in their depths spooke of darkness not yet completely overcame, but the resolve they showed was clear enough.

“I accept. But I have one condition. I know how today will end. No matter what you do, my son will die, at peace or not. When he is gone, only I will remain. As the balance here is broken, then so shall it be in the galaxy, and your war will worsen. But if we are successful, you will learn here how to balance yourself. So when you leave Mortis, the fate of the galaxy, and the balance of the Force will rest on your shoulders. I won't be needed anymore. So when you leave, I ask you to fully recognise the burden that will fall to you, to embrace it, and to kill me.”

Anakin's eyebrows shot up. He did not expect that ! The old man was asking him a lot, another weight to shoulder. He wasn't sure he wanted this added load, but then again, it wasn't about what he wanted. The Father extended his hand to seal their deal, and Anakin hesitated a moment before clasping the man's offered palm. An understanding passed between them as they held each other's arm. A promise between two men with shattered hearts that would not be broken. An oath between two beings out of mortal comprehension that would be seen to its end. A form of certainty Anakin had long forgotten ever existed and was glad to rediscover. 

When they came back to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, they were both absorbed by their kata. The Father and Anakin stood aside, watching. Anakin felt pride surge within him as Ahsoka's footwork suffered no mistake. She was precise and graceful. Obi-Wan and her were in perfect synchronisation, a mirror of each other. Eyes closed, they went through the motions like a dance. When they were done, they finally noticed their audience.

“Mind your shoulders,” Anakin said to Ahsoka with a stern voice “Stiffness will not do you any good.”

Ahsoka swallowed and looked down, not expecting a rebuttal. Their bond flared alive with her frustration at not reaching her master's standards, and Anakin remembered how, while under the influence of the Son, she'd accused him of always criticizing her and never believing in her, so he added:

“But that footwork was impeccable. You have done well.”

Her head snapped back up and a mixture of surprise and delight flashed in her eyes. It made him question himself. Had he really been a good master to her ? Obi-Wan was quite shy when it came to compliments, if memory served well, and praises from him were sparse, so he'd always told himself he wouldn't reproduce that model with Ahsoka. But her reaction proved otherwise. 

Obi-Wan must have felt him spiraling toward another pit of self-loathing, for he offered:

“Care to join us ? The Son doesn't seem particularly eager to show up, so it can't hurt. If you feel up to it.”

“True enough. I haven't practised my kata in...ages, actually. But I am slightly short on lightsabers.”

Ahsoka then hold her main lightsaber to him with a rueful smile:

“I can give you my shoto, if you prefer.”

Anakin considered the offered saber, and knew it wouldn't be easy. He took it anyway and came to stand beside her. When he ignited the lightsaber, it's green halo was too bright for his eyes, no longer accustomed to vivid colors and he quickly turned away to protect them. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan watched him with questioning expressions. He just forced himself to look at the blade. The color was so strange and so foreign in his hands, he half expected it to turn red any second. But reaching out, he could hear the kyber crystal sing peacefully. It was calming, like an old forgotten lullaby from childhood rediscovered as an adult. And the color of the blade was the same as Luke's. Through the soft hum of the plasma he could almost hear his son's voice, and peace came more easily. Feeling more centered, he nodded to his companions and took the opening stance. They followed suit and the three of them started the kata in unison.

Anakin was instantly bewildered by his own body. Moving was just so easy ! One never appreciated enough the simple wonder of being able to lift their arms above their head ! He could make full circles now, his shoulder turning without his armor blocking the motion. The weight of the damned thing was gone too. Free of its constraints and of three mechanic prosthetics, all his joints now moved and bent and turned fluidly. But all of this came at a cost and it took him only three movment to fall behind in the kata's rhythm. No longer used to this freedom and feeling too light, Anakin had problem to properly control his limbs. His muscle memory was stuck between two timelines and if the motions came naturally, the shadow of Vader constitution loomed. His endurance seemed affected too, as he quickly became short-breathed, his lungs trying instinctively to fall back into the artificial rhythm his respirator imposed on him. All in all, the kata turned clumsy and hard, making Anaking feel like a youngling. Even if part of him knew it should have been expected, it didn't stop his anger from rising before this poor performance, put to shame by a Padawan. His frustration was doubled by the knowledge that he could do way better, and thought bitterly than he was a very poor excuse of a Jedi and former Sith. Pathetic... 

The kata over, he was breathing heavily, phantom pain of limbs that were actually still there burning at his muscles. His head was all wobbly, as if his body could no longer deal with the normal amount of oxygen pumped into his blood. Knowing he would have to relearn all of his basic training so he would relearn to live with his own body was so frustrating. A waste of time he could do without...

He made a move to give Ahsoka her saber back but she closed his hand back around it:

“You will need it against the Son.”

“I would rather not, actually.”

“Master, I know things aren't...easy for you right now. But you need something to defend yourself with. We don't know what the Son is going to try, you can't stay unarmed.”

Anakin was tempted to say that, with the Force, he was never unarmed. But his control over the Force wasn't at its best right now either. He couldn't risk another backlash like the one he had just before while confronting an enemy as powerful as the Son. But...

“If I hold a lightsaber, I will use it. By sheer habit. I am going to fall back into old patterns that I would rather avoid being tempted by.”

He pushed the lightsaber back into Ahsoka's hand and she reluctantly took it, still not convinced leaving Anakin weaponless was the brightest idea.

“Anakin...”

Obi-Wan's voice was low and tentative. He had caught on Anakin's mixed feelings towards him by now, and was trying his best to walk a thin line he couldn't even see, that much was obvious. But Anakin recognized the tone of voice his old master used when he tried to have Anakin open up.

“Will you tell us ? About what you saw ? About...what happened to you ?”

Yes, sure. You betrayed me, left me alone, turn my wife against me, left me to die because you didn't had the gut to finish me, leaving me to live the shadow of a life made of nothing but physical and psychological pain while you stole my children away to feed them lies and have them work on my downfall. That was what Anakin wanted to say. Because the pain was still all too vivid in his mind and muscles. But he held it back because part of him knew it wasn't what happened. Not really. Obi-Wan had hurted him in many ways, but Anakin wasn't innocent either. He needed to sort things out concerning their relationship. And the first thing he knew was that maybe, the reason he'd hated Obi-Wan with such intensity was because he'd never stopped loving him. Like Obi-Wan had...He had been there, on the other side, pulling him to the Netherworld. Gently. Almost tenderly. And Anakin had felt his old master's forgiveness, his affection. Neither him nor Yoda had to help him reach the other side. But they both did. 

Anakin sighted. Like all the rest he had to deal with, talking about this was still too soon.

“No.”

Obi-Wan's eyebrows drew into a line and Anakin knew exactly what he was thinking. It had always been strange how they could understand each-other so well without words but yet completely misunderstand each-other at a core level. Communication had never been their strong point. 

“Anakin, all we want...”

“Is to help and understand” Anakin cut “I know. But I'm not ready.”

As he spoke, Anakin looked up. The stars were slowly disappearing with the rising morning light. Dawn was coming quietly, without anyone noticing as it was the most natural thing in the world. Yet, Anakin couldn't turn his eyes from it. From dark blue, the sky was turning a paler shade, with stripes of pink and orange to contrast. The sparse clouds reflected the colors in a patchwork of pastels. He had forgotten the colors ! Such a small and simple thing, yet oh so important and significant. The Dark Side had truly and utterly blinded him. And now, free from Its clutches and of those reddish lenses, Anakin could finally see the world around him in all its simple splendour. And it was beautiful, and made his heart a bit lighter.

He finally turned back to Obi-Wan and said:

“I will tell you. Later. First I need to know who Anakin is now and how to be him. And I will have a clearer picture of what I can do about it according to how I deal with the Son.”

His eyes fell back on the Father, who was approaching, clearly telling them their time was up. 

“Won't you explain that to us too ?” Obi-Wan inquired.

“I already told you what I wanted to do.”

“And he has my support” the Father interjected. “You and the apprentice can stay ready for back-up, but the task of ending my Son's madness rests on the Chosen One and myself.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to protest, but Anakin held out a hand in a way that left no room for interpretation, so he kept quiet. The Father looked into Anakin's eyes, searching for certitude:

“So, you know what you have to do.”

“How quaint !”

The fifth voice drew their attention and, as one, they turned their head toward the sky. The Son's black silhouette contrasted sharply against the soft blue of the early morning. He was descending fast and landed gracefully in the courtyard right beside them.

“My own personal send-off.”

Anakin didn't miss the calculating look the Son shot him. He also saw immediately his own lightsaber hanging at the being's belt, on the opposite side of an ancient blade.

“I ask you one last time” the Father begged. “Do not leave, my son.”

A condescending smile curled the Son's lips as he replied:

“You have no power to keep me, old man.”

“But I do.” Anakin interjected.

The Son's gaze flew to him instantly, all smiles forgotten. 

“And you know that. That's why you wanted me either on your side or incapacitated.”

The Son straightened up, towering over Anakin in an attempt to intimidate him. But Anakin didn't move at all. People quiver before him, not the other way around.

“And you made a mistake by drawing me to your lair.”

“Oh but did I ?”

The laughter that escaped his lips was most unpleasing, far too similar to Sidious' and this time Anakin felt his hair stand up in the nape of his neck.

“You may have seen far more than I anticipated, but the result is the same. You are unbalanced. I can feel it inside you. The doubt ! The fear ! The hatred ! Toward your Emperor and toward yourself ! You may refuse to join me, as I've hoped, but you have been crushed by your own mistakes and are in no shape to hold back anyone right now.”

He wasn't entirely wrong here, and that irked Anakin more than he wanted to. But he also knew what the Son was trying to do and he was now better equipped to resist that kind of tactic than he was before. And he had made his choice. He had returned to the light for Luke, and he would stay in it for everyone else. He had to cling to that, to that choice, to the light, and to the memory of Luke. No matter how seductively the Dark Side might whisper in his ear, he had to fight it back. 

Another laugh escaped the Son as he guessed Anakin's train of thoughts.

“Please, don't strain yourself too hard. We both know how it's going to end. You failed before, and you will fail again. You are not strong enough and it's in your nature. You  _ belong  _ in the dark.”

“That is not true.” Anakin bite back, part of him already relenting.

“Oh but it is ! No matter how many times history is started over, you  _ will _ fall ! And this time, your precious son won't be here to save you !”

As Ahsoka gasped behind him, a powerful flare of anger rose within him and he felt the Force react instantly, waiting but for his word to lash out against the Son. But the mention of Luke grounded him again. His soft smile danced before Anakin's eyes, and his resolve stood stronger. Do it for him, he told himself. Do it for  _ her _ , this unknown daughter you never got to meet now but who deserved better than what she certainly got. So he locked his eyes with the Son's.

“I'm a slow learner. But I learn. You, on the other hand...”

The Son all but growled as he raised a hand. Anakin felt the Force curled around the dark being and it showed him his intent. Calling on to the Force as well, Anakin prepared himself for the strike. The push the Son sent in their direction would have been devastating if Anakin had not been ready. Faster than any of his companions, Anakin countered the attack by a powerful push of his own. While all those behind him stood unaffected by what happened, the Son had to take a few steps back to keep his balance under the raw power of Anakin's assault. He was now looking at Anakin with a mix of anger and wariness. 

For his part, Anakin felt lighter as he saw how easily the Force had come to him, how easily he had directed it. How he hadn't felt a single touch of darkness in what he'd call forth. His confidence rose up some notch. He also remembered how he had been able to tame both the Son and the Daughter before, so long ago. How his instinct and the Force had mixed together to the point he couldn't tell one from the other, and how it had felt like. Not like he was imposing his will or bending the Force to shape the world around him as a Sith does, but more as if the Force had allowed him to do it. In that moment he had felt part of the Force as much as it was part of him. He had dismissed it at the time, not willing to dwell on what it meant, but now, he guessed he'd have to rely on that. And for that he'd have to surrender himself to the Force first. And surrender was a concept he loathed as much as he loathed himself.

“What you will do will destroy all that is good. I beg you, restrain yourself and stay.” the Father begged his son again.

And as he said so, Anakin felt it was meant as much for the Son as for himself. This was another test he needed to pass if he wanted to change the future, and himself. He had never been able to let go, and that was a lesson he would now need to drill into his skull and his very soul. And that included surrendering himself to the Force. Trust it to guide him and not betray him. He could almost hear Qui-Gon again: “ _ Trust in the Force, and it will never lead you astray _ .”

“I cannot. This planet is not my destiny !”

“Then so be it. I love you, my son.”

“Do you ?”

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka ignited their lightsabers the second they felt the Son call to the Force again. Anakin just closed his eyes. The Force was there, lingering in waves just outside his shields. He lowered them just enough to let the Force embrace him gently. Once more, he felt the warmth that spoke of home, and it felt good. It felt safe. He'd done it a thousand times until Palpatine twisted it and convinced him it was wrong. But it felt much better than anything the Dark had always given him. 

_ Trust me _ , it whispered with a voice that sounded like his mother's.

He let his shields drop entirely and the Force engulfed him. Yet it didn't felt like drowning. On the contrary, he felt more alive, more aware of the world around him. And as he opened his eyes, he saw the carvings all lit up again. Extending his hand, Anakin let the Force guide him.

The Son hiccuped in surprise as the will of the Force fell upon him. His anger burned bright as a beacon, and he raged against the power that was holding him back.

“Now be a good boy, and listen to your father !” Anakin said coldly.

“No ! I will not be held back ! I'm tired of him denying me my true potential ! I will be free !”

Anakin could feel the pressure on his mind as the Son fought back his grasp with everything he had. But Anakin could also feel the gentle tap of the Force and pushed further, bringing the Son on his knees. His yell of frustration echoed in the courtyard. 

“Free ? You truly think the Dark Side will free you ?  _ Through victory my chains are broken, the Force shall free me _ ?”

“Yes ! You should know better than anyone !”

At that, Anakin took a long look at the Son, prostrated before him, fighting him with every fiber of his being, filled with rage and hatred. And fear. And loneliness. And despair. The furnace of his heart reflected itself in Anakin's, and for the briefest second, he thought he saw Vader's black suit knelt before him instead of the Son. The Force sang, and Anakin released his grip on the Son, letting his hand fall by his side. The Son breathed as if he finally came back from underwater.

“The Dark Side doesn't break any chains, it only crafts new ones” Anakin said sadly. “Different ones. You only see them when it's too late.”

“You're wrong !” the Son spat.

“And you are blinded by the power.”

The Son snarled and rushed toward him. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka raised their blades in concert, but Anakin just allowed the Force to use him as conduit once again. The Son was pushed back as he reached for Anakin, and was sent skidding on the floor for a few meters. 

“Just clarify something for me, would you.” Anakin said with the tone he used with officers who thought themselves smart but only krifted up in the end. “If you got out of here and found yourself in the middle of the Clone Wars, how would you end it ? How would you destroy the Emperor ?”

The Son stood up and dusted his clothes while giving Anakin a appraciating look.

“Going for ideas ? Guess you should. It would be tremendous work without my help.”

“I'm well aware. But you are avoiding the question.”

“I would crush him ! His power is nothing compared to mine ! And he would never expect  _ me. _ As for your Clone Wars, destroying both armies would be a good start.”

At those words, Anakin felt his bonds with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka flare alive with a sharp protectiveness toward the clones. 

“Then the corrupted governments would follow. Burn everything down is the safest way to build anew and pure, on purged fondations.”

“Sometimes, what is built from burned corpses is anything but pure.” 

He was the perfect example of it himself.

“So you would destroy everything in your path to impose your ways to the galaxy. What about those you resent you for it ? Those who lost everything to your purge ? Those who would fight you ?”

“They would be destroyed as well, of course. Peace and order cannot allow agitators.”

“And once you have destroyed everything and there is nothing left of the galaxy ? Once you are sitting upon the throne of a dead universe ? What then ?”

“Then, there would be peace.” the Son said triumphantly. 

Anakin could hold back a stern rictus.

“You are no different from Sidious !”

“I am nothing like this poor mortal being driven only by ambition ! I only seek to bring peace to a galaxy lost to madness.”

“So every Sith tell themselves. It's the overbearing of the Dark Side that drove the galaxy to its current situation ! Yet you want to tip the balance even more.”

“It will be worth it.”

“Will it ? Will it be worth your sister's life ?”

That cut deep and a heavy silence fell upon the courtyard. 

“That was an accident” the Son said slowly “She shouldn't have interfered...I didn't intend to...”

“But you did. She was the person you loved the most. The one you couldn't live without. And she died by  _ your _ hand. Ironic, isn't it...”

He battled hard against the memory of Padmé holding her throat as she gasped for air.

“Shut up !” the Son yelled.

“She's dead because of you.”

“It's her fault. She should have joined me !”

“But it was not in her nature, so you destroyed her.”

“Once I have enough power...”

“Ah yes, the power. Always the power. It feels good, doesn't it. Intoxicating. Like nothing can stand against you, hold you back, or hurt you. Like the whole universe is in your hand for you to mold it. But it's never for free. You always have to pay for it. Tell me, is the power you wield now worth your sister's life, or not !”

Anakin couldn't stop. He and the Son were the same. And winding him up was much more satisfying than banging his own head against the wall. He had to make the Son understand ! He had too. Because if the Son could turn back, then it meant Anakin's turn wasn't just some random luck...Please understand...

“To leave this place, you will have to kill your father. Will it all be worth his life as well ?”

The Son snorted darkly:

“He's the one keeping me here ! He's the one holding me back. Always patronizing, always so sure of being right. Always so afraid of my power being greater than his !”

_ It's all Obi-Wan's fault ! He's holding me back ! _

“He turned my sister against me, and she rather die for him than live for me !”

_ You turned her against me ! You won't take her from me ! _

“You're my son !” the Father cried out. “I only want what is best for you, because I love you.”

_ You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you. _

“You want me in a cage ! I hate you ! I hate you and I want you dead !”

_ The red blade came in a wild blow and struck the old men down. His worn-out cloak fell to the ground, empty. The Jedi's body had disappeared at the same time as his presence in the Force. As he searched the cloth with the tip of his boot, the world muffled around him. A great void had appeared inside him, growing slowly but unstoppable, were the hatred he had for that man had stood. Now it was as empty as the cloak on the ground. The last tether of his heart was cut and it was nothing like freeing. It was heavy and suffocating. It was like open space: cold, dark and devoid of life. It was lonely. So so lonely. His soul was screaming, raging. He'd fervently wanted the man dead for so long, and now he desperately wanted him back. It was agony. And there was nothing to do about it. _

A hand coming to rest between his shoulder blades brought Anakin back from the pit of his memories. Obi-Wan stood just behind him. The world around them seemed to have stopped, the only things still moving were their eyes, locking into each other, Anakin looking for solid ground to stand on and Obi-Wan all too happy to provide it. And Anakin's heart sighed with relief and sadness equally. When did it start to fall to pieces ?

A gentle push from Obi-Wan returned Anakin to the world. He sent a simple thought through their bond.  _ Trust me _ .

“You want him gone forever ?” Anakin asked the Son.“So you won't mind if I just...”

Quicker than lightning, Anakin held both his hands and with one, lifted the Father from the ground while choking him with the Force, and with the other calling the Son's blade. Once the hilt reached his palm, he turned swiftly to strike the old being. When the Son realised what he was doing, his eyes widened and terror crept quickly onto his face. Ahsoka's shocked yell echoed in the courtyard and, despite Anakin's previous reassurance, Obi-Wan's end of the bond flooded with dread. Before any of them could do anything to stop him, Anakin had aligned the blade perfectly with the Father's heart and the blade were inches from his chest. 

“Master !”

“Anakin, don't !”

“NO !”

The blade pierced the flesh with ease and there was the sound of a choked gasp. The Father laid on the floor where he'd been pushed with horror in his eyes and Anakin took a step back to withdraw the blade from the Son's chest. Blood flowed instantly and the Son fell on his knees once again, his hand pressed on his wound. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were now standing at Anakin's sides, having a hard time believing their eyes or understanding the scene before them.

“My son !” the Father cried. 

He stood and rushed to his son's side. The Son's gaze was unfocused and confused as he looked up toward Anakin.

“What...what is that ?”

“That is selfless love.” Anakin said calmly. “Something even the dark can't snuff out.”

“But I...”

“Just love your father more than you hate him. Love is stronger than hate.  _ That _ is what breaks our chains. Your sister knew it, and so did my son. We both needed to be reminded of that.”

Anakin let the blade fall to the ground with a soft thud. 

“Father...” the Son whispered.

“I am here.” the older being said as he brought his child close to him and embraced him lovingly. “I always knew there was good in you.”

“But I...killed her,” the Son said with a weakening voice. “I didn't want to kill her.”

A slow stream of tears started to run on the Father's cheeks, making their ways to his son's head, the last offering of a parent to a child who finally understood their importance.

“And now, you can be with her again. As it should be. Can you feel her, calling ?”

“Yes...yes, she's calling.”

The Son's eyes were glassy as he spoke, his final word leaving him like a soft prayer in the wind:

“And...we'll be free. Together. Toge...”

His hand fell to the floor as if in slow motion and his body started to fade. Soon, the Father was holding on empty clothes as the sun finally made it above the courtyard wall. An ethereal atmosphere of peace and sadness lingered, and Anakin knelt and rested a hand on the Father's. Their eyes found each other, and the old being's gaze was filled with sorrow and thanks, grateful for a thing that broke his heart but needed to be done. 

“Are you...will you be okay ?” Ahsoka asked the Father, her voice full of compassion.

The Father kept silent for a moment, his eyes still locked onto Anakin's. Then he carefully put the empty clothes of his dead son on the ground and stood.

“I will have to be. My children are gone, and now, only I remain.”

“I'm sorry.” Obi-Wan said equally empathically. “What will you do now ?”

The Father's gaze turned back to Anakin as he said:

“I have one last task to fulfill. But you,” he added to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka “ you need to leave now. Your war awaits, and I have kept you here already long enough. I can only hope that you have learned lessons that will be useful in the coming times.”

“I just...feel so bad for you,” Ahsoka said. “We came here and destroyed all that was your life. We can't just leave as if nothing happened.”

“I was the one who brought you here.” the Father replied. “Therefore, all that transpired was my fault and my responsibility alone. You only did what you had to. But I am glad that it was the three of you.”

“You could come with us,” Obi-Wan offered. “The Jedi could use your knowledge.”

“I cannot go with you. I am tied to this place. And as I said, there remains one last task for me.”

He then motioned for them to follow him toward their shuttle. 

“Wait.” Obi-Wan said.

He knelt beside the Son's remains and when he stood up, he was holding Anakin's lightsaber. 

“We can't leave without that, can't we ?” he added with a small smile.

Anakin hesitated. His old lightsaber was a few inches away from him, calling out to him, its kyber crystal singing softly to his ears. Yet he couldn't bring himself to take it. It was the lightsaber he used to kill the Jedi, to kill the younglings, the one Luke inherited, the one he was still holding when Anakin cut his hand off on Bespin. Or it would be...

As if it wasn't his, his right hand closed around it, holding it in front of him.

“No, we can't.” he whispered.

Doubt crept over Obi-Wan's face.

“Unless you...”

“Take the shuttle.” Anakin cut him off. “The  _ Resilient  _ is waiting nearby, Rex will take you back to Coruscant.”

“What do you mean ?” asked Ahsoka, suddenly a little panicked.

Anakin stayed quiet, waiting for the answer to dawn on her. As it did, an incredulous look gleamed in her eyes.

“You are not coming.” Obi-Wan said, his voice unsteady.

“No, I am not. I'm staying here. I am the Father’s last task.”

“But...but what about...the war !” Ahoska blurted out. “Our troops ! The Jedi ! You can't abandon them ! You are one of our best generals, without you, the conflict will only be worse for us. We lost too many Jedi already. The Republic needs you !”

She was on the verge of tears now:

“I need you...” she added with a broken voice.

Anakin felt like their bond was a crushing waterfall under which he stood, pouring on him all her disbelief, her fear and worst of all, her feeling of being abandoned, that she didn't matter to him. After all, he'd never wanted her in the first place, and now he was leaving her without second thought...

“Ahsoka is right, ” Obi-Wan said. “You can't turn your back to the Republic like that.”

“I can't go back. I just...can't.”

Obi-Wan studied him, and Anakin knew that, in this moment, his old master didn't need the Force to understand what Anakin was thinking. He knew him too well, and he had heard enough in the past hours.

“You saw yourself fall, didn't you ?” Obi-Wan finally asked.

Ahsoka bit her lips. She was clever too, and had heard just as much as Obi-Wan. Anakin couldn't find the strength to hold their gaze so he looked to the ground, and breathed heavily. 

“What happened ?” Obi-Wan asked, sounding exhausted. 

As Anakin remained silent again, Obi-Wan insisted:

“Anakin, we need to know.”

“I...I can't...not now...”

“Master...”

Ahsoka's voice were begging and he shut his eyes hard, took a deep breath and said:

“I fell. The Sith won. It was a nightmare of which I helped the making. But then...”

“Your son saved you and brought you back to the Light?” Obi-Wan completed.

Anakin nodded.

“Luke ?” Ahsoka asked.

Clever, clever girl ! Anakin smiled tenderly again. 

“This emperor you and the Son talked about...is this Darth Sidious ?” Obi-Wan, always so insightful.

“Yes” Anakin replied darkly.

“Who is he ?” Obi-Wan pressed. “We knew already that we had to find him, but now it's obvious he must be stopped. Please tell us what you know.”

“No.”

Obi-Wan look at him as if he'd slapped him with his mechanical arm. The utter disbelief painted onto his face made it clear he couldn't even consider that Anakin had just blatantly said this simple word right now.

“Do you realise that by withholding such information...”

“You are not ready to know.” Anakin cut, as this simple truth dawned on him as he said it. He wasn't ready to go back into the world, and if he revealed Sidious' identity to Obi-Wan now, he would report it back to the Jedi Council and catastrophe would ensue. They were unaware of Sidious plans, they would take fast action without those precious knowledge and would lose all over again even quicker.

“You miss too many pieces of the puzzle.”

“Pieces you could give us!” Obi-Wan argued.

“I won't be here to manage the damage control ! Foolish actions are not a weakness we cannot indulge in any further. Be it to your liking or not, you need me to be here to oversee things as they evolve, and that is something I cannot do now. I have been Vader as long as I have been Anakin. I need to learn how to be...myself. And that will take a great deal of time. I cannot go out and face what I have done in the state I am in. For you, it is just a recounting of a vision. For me, it is two decades of my life that happened not a day ago. The Force and Luke gave me a second chance, I can't blow it away by being careless.”

“But you're staying here, so how can we...” Obi-Wan started more vehemently.

“The Chosen One and I came to an arrangement.” the Father intervened. “One that I think you will agree to.”

Obi-Wan reluctantly silenced his response and listened.

“I won't be gone forever. The time here flows differently. When you will return on the  _ Resilient _ only seconds would have passed between the moment we arrived here. So, I will use that. When a year has passed in the galaxy, I will come back. It will be years here, and with any luck, I will be...functional again.”

“And what are we supposed to tell the Council and the Senate as one of our most valued generals goes missing ?” Obi-Wan remarked.

“To the Council ? Everything. They need to know that I come from a terrible future and that I'm working to change it. To the Senate and the GAR ? I don't know, but you must keep it as quiet as possible. Let no one, and I mean it,  _ no one _ , in the Senate, know what I am truly doing. Just spin something convincing, you are good at it.”

He stopped and a pang of regret gripped his heart.

“Just, please apologize to the men. To the 501 st I mean.”

“Whatever story we give, they will understand.” Ahsoka assured him. 

Anakin had a soft smile at the thought. The 501 st were good men, with good hearts. He wondered if Ahsoka would still be allowed to lead them. 

“As for you Ahsoka...”

He turned to Obi-Wan, his eyes hard and uncompromising:

“You will take care of her, while I am away. Right ?”

“Of course I will, Anakin. She's my grandpadawan, and I won't treat her any differently.”

“Good. Just don't...”

Don't be like you were with me, he wanted to say. But Obi-Wan had not been the sole and only root of the problems in their relationship, right ? And Ahsoka wasn't him...

“Don't underestimate her.” he finally said.

Obi-Wan nodded, understanding that there was a lot to unpack between them, but that would have to wait a year. 

Anakin turned and took Ahsoka's hands in his own, which surprised her and she looked up to him.

“I remember what you said. When you were under the Son's influence. That I never believed in you, never trusted you.”

“Master, I didn't mean...”

“Part of you felt so.” he cut off. “The Dark Side twist, it doesn't create. And I want you to know, it couldn't be further from the truth. When I took you as my padawan, you were young, brash and reckless. And you now are a young woman I would trust my life with. You are strong, and kind, and clever, and I am lucky to be there to see you grow every day into a better person and a better Jedi than I ever was. You are the only thing I did right within the Jedi Order, and I couldn't be prouder of you.”

Ahsoka was speechless. He felt her surprise and the overwhelming emotions she tried to contain at his words. He took her head between his hands and kissed her brow tenderly, right beside her padawan's braid.

“I love you so much.” Anakin said.

She quickly raised her hand to her eyes to dry the tears that started falling.

“I will be back in one year. I'm sorry to leave you the hard work of covering for me. But I'm coming back. And things will be different !”

He let her go and gently pushed her toward Obi-Wan:

“You should go now.”

His old master looked at him for a long moment. Something seemed to give in inside him as his shoulder dropped, but his voice was steady as he said:

“One year. We see each other in a year.”

Anakin walked with them to the shuttle in silence, Ahsoka holding herself to give her courage. But just before the gangplank, Obi-Wan turned to Anakin one last time:

“What do we tell Padmé ?”

Anakin's breath caught in his throat. What to tell her ? What could he possibly say that could express all the hurt, all the pain, all the love, all the regrets ? He stood there, agonizing, while Obi-Wan and Ahsoka waited, knowingly.

“I will tell her everything myself,” he finally said. “In the meantime, just say...what you think you have to.”

They both nodded, and walked into the ship. The plank shut and the engine fired. The Father came to send beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder, as the shuttle rose in the sky. Anakin followed it until it disappeared.

Now, it was time to go to work.


	4. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make the wait worth it, here a long chapter. Hope you will enjoy it ^^  
> Thank you all so far for your appreciation and support. And most of all, thanks to my amazing beta-reader StunAStoat for her help !

Obi-Wan's consciousness came back to him slowly. He first became aware of the painfull angle his neck had fallen into. He straightened up and understood his mistake instantly, as a sharp flash of pain ran from the base of his skull to his mid-back. He groaned and brought a hand to his mistreated neck. Another groan to his left told him that Ahsoka was waking up too. Turning his head carefully in her direction, he saw that she had passed out on the ship's controls, which were coming back alive as well. Various beeps and lights started to blink as Ahsoka shook her head to clear her senses. 

“Are you alright, young one ?” he asked her.

“Yeah. I think so. You ?”

“A little stiff, but I will survive.”

“What happened ? I remember a bright light as we left the atmosphere of the planet then...nothing.”

“Yes. Just like when we arrived.”

The empty static of their radio then stopped and captain Rex's voice flickered through:

“General...hear...you...there ? General...come in...”

Ahsoka hurried to readjust the transmission and the holo-image of the captain came alive on the shuttle's control.

“Commander ! We lost you for a minute !” the clone said with evident relief on his face.

“What ?” was all that Ahsoka managed to say.

“You disappeared from our scopes for a minute” Rex explained “What happened ?”

At this Obi-Wan and Ahsoka exchanged a look. They had no idea what to say.

“We will explain once we are aboard the _Resilient_.” Obi-Wan said diplomatically.

“Alright. Just one question: where is General Skywalker ?”

Because of course Rex would know that Anakin would sit on the pilot chair and nowhere else during a flight that needed actual piloting.

“As I said, captain, we will explain on the ship” Obi-Wan repeated darkly.

The blue figure of Rex looked at him incredulously, but the man was too much of a soldier to go against direct instructions from his superiors. So he just nodded and said:

“Alright. I'll inform admiral Yularen that you're arriving. He'll be expecting you for your report.”

The transmission ended and Obi-Wan couldn't help but mutter in his beard:

“Oh I'm sure he will.”

“Our report, hum. What will it say exactly ?” Ahsoka asked as she steered the shuttle to a course toward the flagship waiting for them hundreds of clicks ahead.

“I still have trouble making sense of all that happened myself. So finding a plausible story to tell that doesn't sound too crazy and leaves out what needs to be left out...I'm not sure. All I know is that I don't like the idea of blatantly lying to the army.”

“But Anakin said not to tell anyone outside the Council. I'm sure he has a good reason, and even if I don't like the idea of lying either, I really don't feel like it's a good idea to go against Anakin's recommandations.”

“Neither do I,” Obi-Wan replied while stroking his beard with his hand. “Something big is evidently going on. Massive even. More than we can possibly imagine. We have to play our cards carefully. Anakin is right: we won't get another chance.”

Ahsoka looked at him as if she wanted to say something but didn't dare to. Her gaze was hesitant but fixated on him, her fingers twitching. He arched an eyebrow in a benevolent expression, letting her know he was ready to answer when she was ready to ask.

“It's true, then.” she said in a murmur.

“What is, my dear ?”

“He _is_ the Chosen One.”

Obi-Wan raised his other eyebrow, in surprise this time.

“You didn't believe it ?”

“Did you ?”

The question was so deep, on many levels so personal and stirred up so many emotions and memories that Obi-Wan never dared actually give an answer to it, even though it had been in the back of his mind ever since he had promised Qui-Gon he would train Anakin. But Ahsoka clearly needed reassurance in this moment. She had been through a lot in a couple of days and she needed certainty, an unmovable cornerstone to lean on right now to get her footing back and face the road ahead of her with a clear mind.

“My master always was certain of it, until his last breath. And I cannot deny that, after witnessing so many of Anakin's exploits and extraordinary abilities, I sometimes wondered about it. I guess a big part of me believes it, yes. But another part just doesn't want to acknowledge that if there is a Chosen One here and now, it's because the Force is so out of balance that it needed to create him.”

“Why was Master Jinn so convinced about it ?”

“He felt Anakin's strong connexion with the Force straight away. When we performed an analysis for the midi-chlorian count in his blood, we couldn't believe the result we were given.”

Ahsoka's intrest seemed to pique as her eyes glimmered in the faint light.

“How much ?”

“Over 20,000. 27,700 exactly.”

Ahsoka's markings shot up and her mouth made a perfect “O”. Clearly, Anakin had never disclosed that fact with her.

“Anakin's mother, Shmi, also revealed to Qui-Gon that Anakin was born without a father, something she couldn't explain herself. At first I wondered if it wasn't just a lie she told to protect herself and her son from a more...distasteful truth.”

“Distasteful truth ?” Ahsoka repeated, too young and in many ways still too innocent to understand Obi-Wan's meaning.

“She was a slave, Ahsoka. And slaves are more than often treated poorly. Women most of all.”

The implication finaly made its way into Ahsoka mind, and she winced, both horrified at the fact that some women were in fact treated like object, and at the possibility that her beloved master could be the product of rape.

“But from what Qui-Gon and Anakin both told me, Shmi was not the lying kind. And there were many more believable lies she could have said if she wanted to hide Anakin's parentage. So the theory that Anakin was conceived by the midi-chlorians, by elimination, seems the truest one.”

“They seemed so sure.” Ahsoka whispered, more to herself than to Obi-Wan. “All three of them seemed so sure. It wasn't a possibility for them, just a fact. A truth.”

“Those beings are beyond everything we know or understand about the Force.” Obi-Wan agreed. “If they state that Anakin is the Chosen One, then believing them seems the wisest course of action.”

“Yeah. Especially after...”

She let her sentence trail off, but Obi-Wan didn't need more to understand her point. Anakin's journey through time had been earthshaking by its implication in the Force, but even before than, Obi-Wan had been rocked to his core as he'd watched the boy he'd trained and cared for bring to their knees the closest imbodiments of gods Obi-Wan ever heard of. It was a sight and a feeling that would never fade away, embedded into him forever. Just thinking back on it caused his skin to tickle.

He had been utterly powerless against the Daughter as she had taken him away, but Anakin only had to reach his hand toward her to tame her. The Force had sung in a symphony Obi-Wan never heard before, sun giving way to countless stars as Anakin let his power fill the world around him, the supernova that was his being extending almost to the point of explosion in a maelstrom of light. It felt like being in the heart of a teta-storm, heat burning the skin and radioactivity setting every nerve aflame but without the actual pain of being torn apart. It was the opposite. Never before had Obi-Wan felt so alive or the Force so strongly. Anakin had amplyfied every state of being, to the point where Obi-Wan could swear he'd felt the midi-chlorians in his blood shiver with excitement and anticipation. It was almost too much and Obi-Wan could do nothing but watch as Anakin stood in the middle of this Force frenzy, unaffected by it, seemingly unaware of it unfolding from him like fiery petals of a cosmic flower, mighty enough to put the birth of a star to shame.

Any doubts that Obi-Wan might still have held by that point had been turned to dust, blown into the void of space by the tempest of Anakin's will. And it filled him with both dread and sadness. Dread for the trials to come, and sadness for the boy who watched the stars wishing for nothing but freedom but crushed now by too many responsibilities.

Ahsoka's voice brought him back to the present as she said in a musing tone:

“When master Yoda told me I was to become Anakin's padawan I was terrified. I know the Council tries to keep his Chosen One status under the radar, but you know how the Temple is. It's a real windmill for gossip and rumors, so for as long as I can remember, I heard of it. And with the war going on, and everything he achieved in battle, it was hard not to believe it. And I thought “Why if I'm not good enough ?” and “What if I get him killed ?”, you know...All the other padawans look up to me as if I have some secret knowledge now, and as if, simply by being Anakin's padawan I'm above them...It's a lot of pressure...So I cannot imagine what it's like for him ! And he never talks about it.”

“He never liked talking about it. As far as he's concerned, the prophecy is nonsense, and he doesn't want anything to do with it. But now, he seems to have accepted that role. Whatever happened to him...”

There was a heavy, pregnant pause, and Ahsoka was the first to master the courage to ask:

“It can't be, right ? He couldn't have fall ! If he's the Chosen One, meant to bring balance, he can't fall to the Dark Side ! And Anakin's not like that ! He couldn't do that...”

“I wish I could wash your fears away, young one.” Obi-Wan replied grimly. “But we have to face the evidence. Anakin was unbalanced, he had trouble using the Force, he quoted the Sith code and seemed well-versed in the feelings and practices of the Dark Side...He confessed it, and the Father never denied it...”

Obi-Wan watched the _Resilient_ grow larger by the viewport while trying desperately to set aside his affection for Anakin to spot the warning signs. For there had to be signs ! One didn't turn Sith out of nowhere. There must have been hints, preludes of change inside Anakin's heart...Things Obi-Wan would have glossed over or pushed under the rug as minor or streak of character. Things he would have willingly ignored because he loved Anakin too much...

With a heavy sight he pushed those thoughts away for the moment and, as the _Resilient_ main hangar doors cracked open, he said:

“We came here to investigate a Jedi distress code. And that's what we did. We found out something, internal to the Order, but important to the war in the process. The lead was growing cold far too rapidly and we had to make a quick decision about it. If we wanted to have any chance to find out where this quest will lead and the necessary answers it would give, one of us had to follow it. You are still a padawan so it obviously couldn't be you, and I am a Council member vital to the war effort. Anakin was the only choice left. Plus, the trail lead straight to Hutt Space, and with his upbringing on Tatooine, Anakin is far more acquainted with the Hutts.”

Ahsoka frown, not entirely sold on the idea:

“It's very shaky, you know that ?”

“I know. But I'm afraid we won't be able to find better in the few minutes remaining.”

“Why can't we explain more ?” Ahsoka tested.

“Because we have suspicion of Separatist and Sith spies infiltrated in the GAR and the Senate. It's old news, nothing that will draw to much scepticism. Considering the sensitive nature of Anakin's new mission, we prefer to keep it under tight lips.”

“How did we disappear from the scopes for an instant and came back with more information than before ? And how Anakin left without a second shuttle ?”

And _that_ was the trickiest part !

“Can't we say that it's part of the mission ? Prevents us from making more dubious excuses...”

“But that would be highly suspicious ! If the officers aboard the _Resilient_ might be willing to let it slide, I'm not sure the Senate and the brass will do the same. Just...let me fill the blank as best as I can and back me up, if need be, alright ?”

They were inside the hangar now, and Ahsoka was landing their shuttle in the first empty docking bay.

“I'm afraid we're out of time, so we'll have to go with that for now.” she said. “Maybe once we've spoken to the Council, they'll find something credible.”

“That's all we can hope for.”

They both stood and walked to the rear of the ship. But before they lowered the gangplank, Obi-Wan rested a hand on Ahsoka's shoulder and asked kindly:

“How are you dealing with all this ? Are you all right ?”

She looked up to him and her gaze faltered for a second:

“I...don't know, Master. Everything is happening so fast...I just can't believe that Anakin won't be here for a year. He's only been my master for two years, but I cannot imagine my life without him in it anymore. He's always been at my side ever since I entered this war and I can't shake the feeling that I won't be able to fight without him guiding me. I believe in you, Master Kenobi, and I know you will take good care of me, but...”

“But I'm not Anakin, I understand. The bond between master and padawan is a powerful thing.”

“And I still can't believe that he would...I guess I will have to meditate a lot in the coming days.”

“We both will. And you are right. I will do my best to train you and protect you while you're in my care. I won't dishonor Anakin's teaching by giving him back a padawan who hasn't blossomed during his absence.”

That earned him a small smile, mirthful to say the least:

“You do realise that, if you truly want to honor Anakin's teaching you'll have to go out of your way to do things like flying, or jump off a cliff to land in the middle of a battle, or be reckless...”

Obi-Wan laughed good-heartedly while pushing the button to lower the ramp:

“Well I will honor Anakin's teaching _and_ adapt them to my own methods”

“Wasn't it you who jumped through a window, three clicks above street level to catch a droid the size of my head ?” Ahsoka asked playfully.

Obi-Wan's cheeks visibly reddened at her statement:

“Where did you hear that ?! Anakin's always such...”

“Actually, Senator Amidala told me that one !”

“Force have mercy...”

The ramp stilled and they walked down into the hangar, to be greeted by Admiral Yularen, Captain Rex, Commander Cody and Arc-Troopers Fives and Echo. They all look relieved to see them, but Anakin's absence hung above them all like a lead weight, soon to be tackled down, if Admiral Yularen's expression was anything to go by.

“I suspect you have a lot to talk about, General Kenobi.” the Admiral started with a doubting scowl.

“I'm afraid you won't appreciated my answer much, Admiral.”

“Meaning ?”

“I can't tell you much. I'm afraid we've entered deep classified territory.”

The admiral's face went from questioning to outright puzzled:

“And how, in all heaven's name, did we go from a simple investigating mission to black op operation ? Are the Jedi even allowed to run such an operation ?”

“You know well that we are. A good part of the Jedi work before the war consisted of secret operation and infiltration.”

Obi-Wan knew full well that Yularen was no stranger to the way Jedi often dismantled slaver's operations from the inside, had operatives in long term infiltration mission in criminal organisations to provide information to the Republic, so on and so forth. So he wasn't going to back down just like that.

“I'm afraid I'll have to insist on a more tangible explanation than “It's top-secret” for the sudden disppearance of one of the most succesful generals of the whole Grand Army of the Republic ! So I ask again, General Kenobi: where is General Skywalker ? When will he be back ?”

Obi-Wan let his gaze shift to the faces of the clones, all closed in a professional fashion, but their feelings in the Force told a different story. They were anxious, uncertain, concerned...Widening his vision, Obi-Wan saw that all the troopers close to them were paying close attention to what was being said. The air was charged with tension, and even if he didn't sense any aggression or anger within the admiral, Obi-Wan guessed that it wouldn't take much to set the man on edge.

“It would be best if we could discuss this in a more...private setting.” Obi-Wan observed.

Yularen studied him for a moment, then nodded and led the way to the elevator. Rex and Cody followed them silently, but Rex's shoulders were tense. Ahsoka walked to him and rested a reassuring hand on the clone's forearm, smiling at him in a way she wanted comforting. All it gained her was a raised eyebrow, and he heard the man ask:

“You okay, kiddo ?”

“Let me answer you in a few hours,” she murmured back.

The elevator ride was silent, so was their way to the command center. When the door slid open, Yularen ordered everyone, clone and officers, to clear the room. When he turned to repeat his order to Fives and Echo, Ahsoka said,

“They should hear it too. They're part of the 501st and will be affected by what happened, and what _will_ happen.”

Yularen all but nodded, knowing better now than to question her judgement. When they were finally away from indiscreet hears, Obi-Wan explained:

“We followed the distress call to the coordinates. At first, all we were met by was empty space, but after careful examination we found an abandoned light freighter equipped with advanced cloaking device. It's where the signal emitted from. We swept the ship and came across information vital to the war effort. Unfortunately, the trail was growing cold and we had little time to decide what to do next...”

Obi-Wan continued his explanation as he presented them to Ahsoka. The more he went on, the surer he sounded. Within his mind, the Force pressed gently, as if giving its silent agreement, and Obi-Wan let it woven itself within his words, giving them weight. It was the lightest suggestion, but it looked like it was all that was needed to be convincing.

“You will, of course, give more detail to the Chancellor ?” Yularen asked, understanding now that he would not get more from them and accepting it.

“As I told you, we've long had suspicions of spies within the Chancellor circle.”

“You do realise that, if only the Jedi Council is made aware of the full situation, it won't go well with...”

“I know full well” Obi-Wan cut. “This is why we will take the matter to Senator Organa. He is the head of the Security Committee, and will share the information to those he deems worthy of trust.”

The admiral folded his arms and stoked his chin pensively. It was a hierarchical nightmare for him, but he knew to recognize defeat:

“This is highly irregular, you are aware of that, right ?”

“I am, and I apologize. But extraordinary situations require extraordinary measures.”

“You will have to contact the Senate and the Chancellor as soon as possible. Many things need to be taken care of.”

“If I may, sir.”

Rex's voice, low and regulated, filled the room. He was looking alternately at both men, as if trying to discern from which he'd get the best answer. Echo and Fives looked equally lost by his side.

“What about the men ? The 501st ? What will become of us if General Skywalker is absent for an extended period of time ?”

“That is among the things that need to be decided. In all honesty, I would rather not have the organization and hierarchy of this division upset. It works too well as it is now. But General Skywalker is the main drive behind that efficiency. Without him, it will be hard to maintain our current working system. And an entire fleet cannot remain leaderless.”

“So we'll be put under another Jedi 's command ?” Fives asked.

“The 501st and 212th work together often enough for me to ask if I can take temporary lead.” Obi-Wan stated “Anakin shouldn't be away more than a year so...”

“That is not the problem, General,” Yularen cut with a displeased look. “You simply cannot fight two front at the same time, and the 501st will be needed elsewhere than the 212th.”

“We'll find something out.” Ahsoka told her men.

They didn't seem very confident and Obi-Wan couldn't blame them. The fate of their entire battalion was at stake, and they all knew that the 501st reputation would make it hard for new leadership. Anakin's way of doing things was unconventional to say the least, and Obi-Wan knew that his men wouldn't be fit under any command. Many would find them too independent, too creative, less inclined to follow orders without a word...

“This whole situation is a mess, if you forgive me the expression !” Yularen declared. “If you allow me, General Kenobi, while you are with the Council, I will inform the command of the GAR and the Senate of it. That way, you will be able to report as soon as you are over with your fellow Jedi.”

“I appreciate, Admiral.”

The admiral made an noncommittal noise and waved him off, walking toward the door. But before he reached it, he turned back toward Obi-Wan, his expression much more pained and concerned that it had been so far:

“I must admit, this whole thing is very much _not_ like General Skywalker. Not at all, no...”

He left and Commander Cody took his cue. He nodded to Obi-Wan and left as well. The three men of the 501th lingered, looking at each other with pointed looks, needing no words to communicate how screwed up they felt in this matter. Ahsoka, who knew them so well, understood and turned to Obi-Wan. Her question hung in the Force, and Obi-Wan didn't know how to answer it. Anakin had been adamant about keeping the Senate and GAR in the dark, but it felt wrong to hide things to his most trusted troopers. Not to call them his friends ! He searched within the Force for guidance but it remained silent. Obi-Wan would have to trust his better judgement on this.

“I know you are worried for what comes next, but I'll try my best to keep things...as normal as I can.” he promised them.

“Not to sound whiny, General, but I don't have a lot of hope in this,” Fives confessed.

Rex was frowning at the holo-table, as if the instrument had insulted him personally, which Ahsoka noticed.

“It wasn't an easy decision for Anakin,” she told the clones. “Don't think he abandoned you, you know he'd never do that ! But this...he had to do this. More than you can know.”

Rex visibly relaxed and the men exchanged looks before saluting and leaving the room. Without needing to be told, Ahsoka went to the door and sealed it behind her men. Ahsoka then went to the security consol and deactivated all cameras. Even if they knew no one would come to disturb them, the simple fact that the conversation to come wasn't happening in the Council's chamber was unnerving enough. Once she was satisfied with the level of privacy they were now allowed, she nodded to Obi-Wan, who gathered his resolve, then push the comm button.

Master Yoda's image appeared soon, a benevolent smile on his wrinkled face.

“Master Kenobi. Good to hear from you, it is. But soon. Not very long ago left Coruscant, did you. Results in your investigation, already you came across ?”

“We did, Master.”

His face was solemn and somber, which alarmed the old master. He rested both his hands to rest on the top of his gimer stick as all pleasantness faded away from his expression. He now looked troubled, an expression that was slowly becoming his everyday face. Obi-Wan feared that before the war's end, Yoda would no longer be able to wear another expression. The conflict was taking a heavy toll on every Jedi, but Master Yoda, as the Grand Master of the Order, had to bear most of the load. He hated having to make it even heavier.

“I request an emergency meeting of the Council. Now. No matter what the other masters are doing. This matter takes priority.”

Yoda remained stoic, but his gaze wandered to Ahsoka, who stood silently not far from Obi-Wan with a downcast expression. His eyes searched the room and, upon finding no traces of the usual third member of their trio, mumble a low sound.

“Stand by. Call them immediately, I will. Not long this should take.”

It didn't take long indeed as, less than ten minutes later, the holo-table came alive with the image of the masters. Some were sitting on their chairs in the Council chamber, others were in clearly more exotic places. But they were all here, and listening carefully.

“Everything please tell us, Obi-Wan.”

And so Obi-Wan did. He related all that happened to them, with occasional addition from Ahsoka, from the moment they jumped out of hyperspace to his decision to chase after Anakin who went to confront the Son. Then, his voice wavered and he had to pause. The Council members, who had not interrupted them once, grew visibly more worried at that. Obi-Wan leaned on the table for a moment, and Ahsoka's hand came to rest near his. They exchanged a look, Obi-Wan rallied and carried on.

From that moment onward, Obi-Wan felt in the Force the deep unease growing inside his fellow councillors. He tried to describe as best as he could how Anakin had felt so profoundly different, how he'd seemed a stranger to himself, and how neither the Son nor the Father had denied the possibility of time-travel. He stressed how Anakin had been shaken to the core by what happened to him and what he had seen, but not once did he speak about Anakin's fall or his son. Ahsoka had of course noticed and sent him some side-glances, but never spoke anything else but confirmation of what Obi-Wan just said. He explained then how Anakin had won over the Son, using the dark being's love for his family to return him to the Light, the raw power he had used to tame him and his sister, and the way the planet reacted to his every mood. How he had decided to stay with the Father to gain a better grasp on his power, and to come to terms with what could no longer be denied: he _was_ the Chosen One.

When no more words fell from his exhausted mouth, the silence hung heavy. Shaak Ti was the first to break it:

“So Skywalker willingly chose to remain with this Father. To withdraw from the war and from his men ?”

“I know it doesn't sound like the Anakin we know,” Obi-Wan conceded.

“And your point it is,” Yoda remarked. “The Anakin we used to know, no longer he is. Gone that man is.”

And to hear it said out loud by someone else felt like a starfighter crash. Obi-Wan hadn't moved an inch but the violence of the impact didn't spare him. The air came out of his lungs all at once, his brain short-circuited and his guts turned upside-down. It was a reality he'd witness for hours but constantly delayed the recognition of. The little boy with a bright smile, sun-kissed skin and sun-bleached hair, and worn-out clothes that he'd first met on Tatooine, the unruly but dedicated teen-aged apprentice, the confident young man who ran straight into battle to protect his troops...all the versions of Anakin he witness, raised, taught and loved had been destroyed while he was looking away. There had been no warning, no time for Obi-Wan to prepare and gather himself, he'd just blinked and his best friend was gone. Only remained now the shell of him, animated by something he couldn't name but that could barely stand his presence. At least Qui-Gon's death had been clear and final...

“And you say he refused to tell you what he saw, and who the Sith Lord is ?” Mace asked, with an unforgiving frown that forced Obi-Wan out of his spiraling sorrow.

“Yes. He said we weren't ready to know,” Ahsoka replied for him.

Whispers among the Council members flew and not all kind. Which Obi-Wan could understand.

“What was the boy thinking ?” Oppo Rancisis said darkly. “He knows full well uncovering the identity of Darth Sidious is one of our highest priorities, yet he deliberatly withhold this information ? It could be considered treason !”

A few members nodded their agreement but most hid their reaction behind unmoving faces. Ahsoka was not so skilled at that:

“How can you say that, Master ! Anakin is on our side.”

“Then why hide Sidious ?”

“Anakin was adamant on the fact that we must keep this whole affair from anyone within the Senate and the GAR. Not a single soul outside of the Council must know, he was very clear about it. It can only mean that the Sith have infiltrated the chain of command far higher than we thought. And if that's true...”

“Then the Sith have much more steps ahead of us than we anticipated.” Mace concluded.

“And that whatever actions we would like to take now in light of the revelation of Sidious' identity would be pointless, if not harmful for the Republic and the Order.” Plo Koon added.

“Still, choosing to keep us in the dark may not be the wisest course, even if Skywalker's choice is understandable.” Eeth remarked.

The discussion turned in circles around Anakin's loyalties, and Obi-Wan felt his temper flare up.

“I trust Anakin.” he said coolly. “I know he wouldn't have taken this path without a good reason. Trust me, I am well aware of how unpleasant it is to be willingly kept out of the loop, but I trust Anakin to do what is necessary. He didn't stay on Mortis just to train with the Father, he stayed because the different flow with time there give him a considerable advantage. No matter how much he changed, I still know how to recognise his way of planning a strategy. He's taken a step back to prepare a better leap.”

“I do trust Anakin as well.” Kit Fisto said. “But all the cards are now in only one person's hands. I'm sure you can understand our apprehension.”

“I do. But there's nothing we can do to change it now. Anakin isn't coming back for a year and Mortis all but disappeared, so we'll have to work with the few hints he gave us, and trust him to lay the foundations of the main work for us.” Obi-Wan argued.

“Right, Obi-Wan is.”

Yoda had stayed silent since the beginning and his voice caught everyone's attention.

“Go back, we can't. Bring Skywalker back, we can't. Trust him, we then must. Wrong he's been before, but doubting him now, no good it will do. But facilitate his work, we can. By covering up for him to the Senate, first. Obi-Wan, to Senator Organa speak of all this, you really plan ?”

“In a way. I can't tell him outright, but I trust the man enough to let him know that we need a proper cover. And I know my trust is shared. He will ask questions, of course, but he will help us. He will recognise the best interest of the Republic, I'm sure.”

“The senator has indeed been a steadfast ally of the order” Shaak Ti noted. “We can rely on him. But no other than him, if I'm not mistaken.”

“No, just him,” Obi-Wan agreed. “The Chancellor's not going to like it, especially considering his affection for Anakin. But he will have to accept our decision on the matter.”

“Hum, if Skywalker, in such a high esteem he holds, respect his choices he will, right ?” Yoda said with a playful smile. “To your officers to explain Skywalker's absence, say what did you ?”

Obi-Wan repeated the words Ahsoka and him agreed upon, and how Yularen reacted to them.

“Then it will be the official statement.” Mace agreed. “If we place the rest under black op label and Organa backs us up, the Senate won't be able to force the truth out. They will try of course but we will be in good legitimacy. The only reason they will fuss so much over this is because Skywalker is a well-known figure.”

“They sure wouldn't be so touchy for many other Jedi.” Kit said with a smile. “But Skywalker's rate of success also comes in the mix. It _will_ be harder without him.”

“What will become of his men ?” Shaak asked, always concerned by the clones welfare.

“I already asked Admiral Yularen for temporary command of the 501th. I'm not sure I will be granted that request, though.”

“And what about little 'Soka ?” Plo Koon asked gently.

All eyes turned to her, and Obi-Wan saw her shrink a bit.

“I guess you would rather stay with Obi-Wan ?” Mace asked her directly.

“If it's all right with you, Masters.”

Obi-Wan put an hand on his grand-padawan shoulder:

“Anakin asked me to take on Ahsoka's training until he comes back, and I agreed. It makes the most sense. We already know how to work together, and I've seen her evolve since the beginning of her apprenticeship.”

“Then decided, it is. Until your master returns, under Obi-Wan you'll train, Padawan. The fate of the 501st to the GAR, we leave. Contact Senator Organa now you should. Now matter what is said in the next hours, to meet with you in person, the Chancellor will want to. All ready for this, we should be.”

With this, the session ended and the images of the Jedi flickered away. Obi-Wan leaned once more on the table, closing his eyes. This was but the beginning of a relentless storm, and even if he couldn't blame them, the mistrust of the Masters toward Anakin bothered him.

“You didn't tell them about his fall. Or about Luke,” Ahsoka said slowly.

“Do you think I was wrong ?”

“No ! They were suspicious enough without that information...I can't really be angry at them for that.”

“We must keep faith in Anakin. He may have turned into a very different person, I find it difficult to believe he will be able to stand idly by with all his new knowledge while the galaxy is burning.”

“Aren't you afraid he might...”

Ahsoka bit her lip, clearly searching for the courage to say her though out loud.

“Afraid he might fall again ?”

Obi-Wan thought back on how Anakin broke down on Mortis, how the simple memory of his son seemed to light his way throught the dark, how determined he'd look while telling them to leave without him...

“It will be hard for him, but I think he will make it. He is stubborn enough for this.”

Ahsoka giggled at that and the sound made Obi-Wan a bit lighter.

“Come now, young one. The trip back to Coruscant will be a long succession of meetings and half-truth. So let's just jump into it. But I will need you by my side.”

“Of course, Master Kenobi.”

***

Long years of politics and an unshakable brutal self-discipline allowed Palpatine to maintain a face of well-fitted displeasure, rightful anger even. His voice was cold, but any galactic leader in his position had the right to be in a foul mood in this moment, so it didn't raise any inappropriate questions. From the outside, nothing could betray the burning fury he felt.

Only Mas Amedda knew better after witnessing the onslaught of rage his master had displayed behind closed doors after the call from the Council informing him of Anakin's extended absence for reasons “better left unknown”. These pompous Jedi had the nerve to look at him in the eyes and tell him that the nature of Skywalker's mission was too sensitive and had to be kept under lock and keys, even from him, the highest authority of this government. At least Organa had the decency of looking contrite and sheepish. But none of them budged and it was infuriating Palpatine even more.

And here they were, in his office, a few days after the initial announcement, as soon as the _Resilient_ had landed, Kenobi standing still and unmovable, Yoda and Windu on one side, Organa on the other. Kenobi looked impassive, and all of those damned Jedi were shielding too well for Palpatine to dare push his mind against theirs further without risking drawing attention.

“You are aware, I believe, that I cannot settle for such an answer, Masters” Palpatine said politely but in a tone cooler with each syllable. “You are asking the army to reorganise itself, for battle-fronts and troops to be left without a competent general, all in haste and with no other explanation than 'the less is known, the safer it is'. As leader of the army and the Senate, I cannot be kept in the dark regarding such important things.”

“We are very much aware, Chancellor, that...” Organa started, but Palpatine didn't let him finish:

“And this is not the first occurrence ! When the Laneeb crisis arose, I thought I made clear I would not tolerate being kept in ignorance by my own security advisors and you, Master Yoda. As this Republic elected representative, how do you expect me to properly handle the matters of the war, which involve the security and lives of quadrillions of people, if I'm the last person to know the whereabouts and missions of its most important generals ?”

“I deeply apologize, Supreme Chancellor,” Kenobi stated in a firm voice. “But the nature of Anakin's mission relates closely to truths we've been chasing from the start of the war. If he's successful, we could put an end to this bloodshed and restore the galaxy to a far more peaceful state, which would guarantee the security and safety of its people. But Anakin can only be successful if he's unbothered by the spies we've long suspected had already infiltrated our ranks.”

Oh, he was good, Sidious couldn't deny it. His famed title of _Negotiator_ was well-earned, but he was nothing close to what the greatest Sith Lord who ever lived could do, and said Sith Lord wasn't done saying his piece.

“I cannot possibly believe that Anakin would chose to turn his back on his troops to go run some undercover mission. It is nothing like him ! The way he speaks about it to me, the lives of his troopers are utmost important to him, and very few other Jedi manage to keep such a low casualty rate, if you forgive me saying so. And I can hardly imagine him leaving their fate to other than himself. So goes for the people he's meant to save and protect during his campaigns. Anakin is a man of action, not of cloak and dagger.”

“You know him well, Chancellor,” Kenobi said with what could pass for affection, if the man wasn't such a perfect picture of an uptight Jedi. “You know Anakin's loyalty and devotion goes to people, tangible and real, not to ideals such as the Republic or peace. All he sees is the immediate suffering this war is putting people through, and it pains him greatly not to be able to make it stop. That is why he chose to accept this mission. Because he saw the potential its success has, and he's firmly resolved to make it real.”

Damn Qui-Gon's over-clever apprentice and his silver-tongue. And the boy's loyalties weren't supposed to be moved like this. He, Darth Sidious, was the one meant to shift them, direct them. This was completely unforeseen. This was far too cold and dispassionate for Anakin, too calculated. Sidious had made good progress now into crafting the boy into a fire of passion and impulsivity at the service of his creativity and intelligence. The Hero With No Fear might be a Jedi hero, a hero of the Republic, he was of Sith molding and creation. And this...was definitely not how his precious apprentice-in-waiting would act. What could have possibly pushed him into such a drastic change of method ?

“It cannot have escaped Anakin's notice that with him away, one of our most victorious generals is removed from the board. Therefore creating more defeats, more losses. And what about the public morale ? Anakin is well-loved by the common folk who look up to us to bring an end to this conflict. What will happen when people learn that the Hero With No Fear will no longer be there to protect them ?”

It was Yoda who, this time, enter the fray:

“Know about this the public cannot. Nor most of the people, even within the Senate. If, to Separatist or Sith ears, news of Skywalker's crucial mission should come to, obstacles for him may arise. Craft a story for the general public we will have to.”

“So you would have me lie to the people who put their trust in me ?”

At this point, Sidious gave ground and made a show of slumping his shoulders and sighting heavily. Silently he walked around his massive desk to fall on his chair, putting the mask of the old and tired grandfatherly politician, and let his head fall in his hand, rubbing his forehead, as if drained of strength and will to fight - the perfect façade to conceal his aggressive response.

“I'm afraid we will have to, yes. And to sad extremes it leads us. But if you esteem that the best course of action is to lie to our people to protect them more efficiently, then I will follow your advice. Neither of you have failed me so far, why would you now ?”

None of them replied, but the change in their eyes as he twisted their words was just delicious. After one more moment of silence, Palpatine rose and stood before the bay window overviewing the endless city, his back to them.

“Senator Organa ?”

The meddler rushed to respond:

“Yes, sir ?”

“I am counting on you to come tomorrow with a decent cover story to be released to the Holo-Net.”

“I will not disappoint you.”

_You better not, princeling..._

“I will confer with Admiral Yularen and the high command of the Grand Army to decide the fate of the 501th. I will keep you informed.”

Understanding that they were dismissed, the four men bowed and left. Once the door shut and he felt their presence retreat within the Force, Sidious dropped his mask of passivity and barked at Amedda:

“Secure a channel to Sereno, I need to speak with Dooku immediately.”

The man hastily bowed and retreated.

Opening his mind to the dark that was now firmly engulfing the planet, Sidious exulted in the sensation. The Dark Side was like a heavy and unmovable cover, shrouding the ecumenopolis. He had nurtured it for decades, with patience and care. Now its invisible shadow shrank the light in its pathetic effort to remain steady. It was a losing battle. Soon, the Dark Side would swallow the galaxy, as it should.

Expanding his senses, Sidious reached out, as far as he could, in search for his prized pupil.

_Where are you, my apprentice-in-waiting ? What has driven you from me so ?_

But the boy was nowhere to be found. His presence still lingered in the void of space, but his Force-signature, as imposing as it was, was all but gone.

What could the Jedi have possibly stumbled onto ? What lose end could they have smelled to give them such confidence in turning the tide of the war ? He would have to send Dooku to investigate. Sidious was too close to victory to allow any setbacks now !

He had to get Anakin back ! The Jedi Council wasn't supposed to trust him enough to give him such a mission...But not all was lost. He would deploy as many agents as needed and find Anakin. According to the Jedi, he was heading for Hutt Space and intended to remain in the Outer Rim for a full year, without any contact of any sort with the Order or the GAR. Anything could happen in a year outside the Jedi notice. Yes...Turning defeat into victory was an art Sidious has refine throughtout the years, and now was time to show his mastery of this craft. He would find Anakin and, far from the Jedi eyes, would try him, test him, push him to the deepest, darkest corner of his soul, sending him obstacles upon obstacles, and Anakin would return to him ripe for the taking. Yes, this setback could become the greatest of opportunity.

The Dark Lord of the Sith's face twistted into a dreadful smirk as he considered the many advantages the foolish Jedi had actually given him while thinking they were denying him.

***

Ahsoka's hand was suspended in the air in front of the door of her and Anakin's shared apartment. The trip back home had taken days, made of an endless succession of various meetings with the Council, the Chancellor, Senator Organa, the brass...Even if they tried to avoid another load on her shoulders, the troopers often came to her to know if their fate had been decided yet. Rex had to order them to back off and give her space. She had to lie and dance around the truth, all the while supporting Obi-Wan who was doing all the heavy lifting. She had been unable to sleep or meditate, her mind always reflexively searching for Anakin's presence but never finding it. By the time the _Resilient_ entered Coruscant atmosphere, she was thoroughly exhausted, physically and emotionally. So when Obi-Wan had sent her back to the Temple while he went to his meeting, she had neither the will nor the strenght to refuse.

But now, even as all her muscles were crying for sweet rest, she couldn't bring herself to cross the threshold of her living quarters. Everything inside would _feel_ of Anakin. She knew she was acting stupid. Anakin wasn't dead and she would see him again, even if not for months. Yet, she couldn't shake the feeling that she lost him on Mortis...

Steps in the corridor shook her from her contemplation and, refusing to let someone see her without the courage to face her master's absence, she pressed the door open, took her shoes off and walked into the common area.

The place was bathed by the orange light of the sunset and Ahsoka instantly felt at home. It was something she and Anakin loved about their apsartment: the large floor to ceiling windows had no balcony but the sun was always setting right in front of them. No matter the season, in the evening their living room was flooded by that warm light, coloring everything in all kinds of shades of yellow to pink as the sun drew closer to the horizon. Whenever they were on Coruscant and Anakin was not away from the Temple, probably to Padmé's she now guessed, they would sit together in front of the windows and watch day turn into night.

She let her gaze wander through the room. It was just how they left it, their low table slowly vanishing under datapads and various droids parts while the small kitchen was tidy, the utensils Anakin had used to cook they last meal neatly put to dry on the side, her robe carelessly in pile on the couch, small crates of gear piled up under the shelf were books made of actual paper stood devoid of dust...The people who lived there were always on the move and it showed: the place looked lived in and an aura of restlessness swathed the atmosphere. Yes, it felt like home.

Ahsoka went to her room, took a change of clothes and went to the fresher. She turned the water on so hot her skin reddened within minutes and steam filled the place. She stood motionless under the running water, letting the sweat and the dust that recycled air always seemed to carry be washed away. But as her body became cleaner, her mind was still mudded. She felt...incomplete yet too full. Like a part of her had been cut away while another was added beside the void so created. Anakin was what had been taken away, the place he used to fill not exactly empty but its edges blurry, his presence like fog in her mind: there but uncatchable. It was strange, like the obelisk around Mortis was blocking her connexion to him. Unless he was doing so himself. Shaking her head, she tried to be rational: Anakin was on the far end of the galaxy, beyond the Outer-Rim while she was in the Core. No Jedi could feel each-other across such massive distance. It was logical, but she wasn't convinced.

And what was added...She had no memories of what happened after that wretched creature bit her in the Son's dungeon, but Obi-Wan had filled in the blanks. She had died, and the Daughter had given the last of her life-force to bring her back. Anakin had been the catalyst, transfering the Daughter's energy into her...

Shutting that door before it opened itself, Ahsoka drew herself back to the moment and cut the water. Determined to set back into her routine while at the Temple, she left the fresher and went straight for the kitchen with the intention to make tea and meditate.

Her eyes fell on Anakin's door as she grabbed the kettle. It was slightly ajar, as if inviting her inside. She let her bare feet carry her across the carpet and found herself before the door, tugging at the sleeve of her loose shirt like a child. A shine of silver in the room as a speeder with headlights on passed by close to the Temple and Ahsoka put the door aside.

R2-D2 was in sleep mode by his master's bed, connected to his recharge port. Ahsoka felt a jot of guilt at the sight of the droid. In all this mess, she forgot to consider what Anakin's absence would do to him. What would happen to him for the next year ? She and Obi-Wan already had an astromech, even if none of them could compare to R2. None of them brought about as much chaos as this particular R2 unit. Would he stay here at the Temple or would they still take him along with them ? Would they give him back to Padmé until Anakin returned ?

She walked into the room, the dimming light coming from the tall window giving it a quiet atmosphere, and gently patted the dome of the droid which came to life instantly. He beeped at her, happy to see her home.

“Yeah, I'm glad to be back too. But...I have some unpleasant news for you, Artoo-y.”

She roughly explained the situation to R2 who listened without interruption. When she was done, he made a disheartened series of beeps.

“Yeah, I know. I already miss him too. But, it's just a year, right. He'll be back before we know it.”

Her attempt to cheer him up sounded empty even to her own montrals. As she sat on her master's bed, she looked around as she rarely came here. His work-bench was organised but overflowing with tools and parts, unfinished projects pushed on the side or carefully put on crates. A poster of pod-racing hung on one wall, which made her smile. It felt young and carefree.

Everything that Anakin had not been on Mortis.

He had been afraid of the place, of what it meant. He didn't show it, even less said so, but she could feel it, piercing through their bound. And when they found him by the lava lake...Ahsoka had felt it in the Force, and it resonated deep inside her bones: nothing would ever be the same. Something at snapped at galactic level, as if the Force had stomped its foot hard while saying firmly _ENOUGH_. And Anakin, as the Force's child and Chosen, had been the repository of it all. Seeing how different her master had become, how colder, more aloof and mistrustful, and so very much damaged ! His inner pain so violent it had to get out of him as a whole storm. Ahsoka had tried to prevent its magnitude to break her, but her bond with Anakin was strong, and she had been hit full front, breaking her heart to know how much worse it was for Anakin. She felt so powerless to help the man she considered her brother and father-figure. She wanted so much to be by his side right now, to help him, support him and mend the cracks running along his soul like lightings during a thunderstorm.

But he'd send her away. Praising her. Telling her how much he loved her. Trusting her. So she had to do the same. She had to trust him to come back to them, not as his normal self for that person was gone, but healed at the very least. And she had to prove him right to trust her. She would work hard under Obi-Wan's tutelage, so when Anakin returns at his rightful place of master, she would be ready for whatever was to come. She would be his unshakable support and make sure to light his path whenever he might he might need her to.

Like Luke obviously had. Thinking of Anakin's son made her think of Padmé, and she wondered if Obi-Wan had gotten to her yet and if so if they were still having that long overdue talk. She wanted to come along as well, to be there for her, but Obi-Wan thought Padmé would open up better if it was only him. She'd go to see Padmé tomorrow, to lend a more feminine support.

But for tonight, she simply grabbed Anakin's pillow, wrapped his blankets around her and, with R2 near her, drifted off to sleep feeling safe surronded by Anakin's smell.

***

The last rays of light from the setting sun were casting beautiful colors on the marble pillars of Padmé's balcony, painting the whole room in golden shades of orange, yellow and purple. The sound of the distant speeder traffic was so muffled that the only sound was the soothing rhythm of the small water fountain at the center of the apartment. The atmosphere would have been serene if not broken by the constant pacing of the young senator.

She kept playing with the small holotransmitter in her hand, waiting with increasing frustration for a beep that wasn't coming. Bail had sworn he would call her as soon as his meeting with the Jedi and the Chancellor was over, yet it had been hours now since the _Resilient_ had touched down and the meeting called. She had not been invited of course. Why would have she been ? She was neither on the Security Committee, nor a member of the GAR chain of command, nor part of the Chancellor's circle of subordinates. She was only Anakin's wife...A fact known only by the two of them. Of course the Chancellor had reached for her soon after the initial drop of the bomb, sharing his anger and incomprehension in the face of something so _unlike_ Anakin. Surely she could understand, maybe even share, his feelings, her who knew Anakin better than most...

Except she was not angry. Not in the slightest. She was all worries and heavy heart. It had already been weeks since the last time she saw her husband, and now she learned she would not see him at all for a full year, with him running deep undercover operations in the most ruthless parts of the galaxy, alone and without any chance of backup. The Outer-Rim was harsh at best, completely lawless at worst, and even if war was no walk in the park, Hutt Space was an entirely different sort of deadly. All of these factors, including the fact that Dooku would certainly do his best to get his hands on Anakin, considerably harmed Padmé's ability to sleep at night. She knew Anakin was more than capable to take care of himself, still, the idea of him left to his own devices and her unable to provide any support, was already starting to eat at her.

“You should eat something, my lady. You haven't eaten much in the past few days.”

Padmé turned to see Dormé at the door of the corridor leading to the kitchen, C3PO beside her, holding a small tray of food. She stilled, but waved her off:

“It's all right, Dormé. I'm not hungry, anyway.”

“You should still eat. You are already stressed out, no need to put your body through needless trouble. You will need your strength for the coming weeks.”

Padmé was grateful of her friend's care, but her stomach turned at the simple notion of food, so she made a very un-senator-like face, which gained her an amused smile from Dormé.

“At least have something to drink,” the handmaiden said, taking a glass of water from the tray and placing it on the arm of the couch in front of Padmé.

“You are not going to leave me alone until I drink the whole thing, right ?”

“See, that's why you are such a good senator ! You know exactly how to anticipate your opponent's move.”

Padmé laughed lightly at this. She also knew how to recognise when she would not gain anymore ground and when her challenger would not back down. So she graciously took the glass, emptied it and delivered it back to Dormé's expecting hand, who sent C3PO to fetch another one.

“Why would I need my strength especially for the coming days ?” she wondered.

“You mean aside from this whole situation ? Well, what about the vote ?”

The vote ? What vote could she be...Oh. The vote ! The refugees' rights ! She'd forgot about it completely. Her concerns about Anakin had blown everything else away, even the one case she'd been working herself near exhaustion for the last two weeks. A flash of guilt must have shown in her eyes, because Dormé gave her a forgiving smile.

“You really care a lot about him, do you ?”

The handmaid's tone was light but secretive at the same time, her gaze knowing. And Padmé resisted the urge to bite her lip. Her handmaidens weren't fools, far from it. They would not be by her side otherwise. And they were closer to her than any member of her security. They'd all been friends for years and understood each other without petty things such as words. Anakin and her never talked about it, but none of them were blind either. It was kind of a non-verbal, mutual agreement between them both and the handmaidens: the girls keeping their distance, giving them privacy but keeping a protective eyes on them, covering for them if need be, and keeping their lips tightly shut, while she and Anakin trusted them enough to do so. Anakin, without saying anything about it, had been reluctant at first but then acted as if nothing was happening. And it could very well be so, the handmaidens always discreet and self-effacing, almost invisible. But there, always there, to protect their lady. Padmé wished they would speak more openly but knew Anakin wouldn't like it, too afraid that they might accidently let something out to the wrong person. Padmé knew they wouldn't, but didn't push. Still, she wished she could share this part of her life with her closest friends.

She was about to say something when 3PO came back, and he was not alone.

“I'm sorry to interrupt you, Miss Padmé, but Master Kenobi is here to see you.”

Padmé's heart jumped in her chest as the Jedi came forward, bowing respectfully to her.

“I apologise if I disturb you” her old friend said. “I know it's late, but Senator Organa and I agreed it would be best if I came to see you directly, instead of him just sending a holo.”

She noticed how intense his gaze was when he looked at her, and even if she was really glad to see him, she foresaw a difficult discussion to come. She still walked to him to shake his hand in a much less formal way, smiling wildy:

“I'm always happy to see you, Obi-Wan. And I'm grateful for your consideration. 3PO, please get our guest something to drink. Dormé...”

“At once, my lady.” the protocol droid said as he hurried himself to the kitchen. Dormé simply bowed to them and disappeared behind a curtain. Padmé then directed Obi-Wan to the couches, setting her holotransmitter down.

“I hope you don't mind, but I'm afraid I'll be there for a while. We have a lot to talk about.” Obi-Wan said in a serious voice that Padmé only knew too well. It was the kind of voice someone used when they were about to talk about things they would rather avoid. But, whatever happened, Obi-Wan seemed to have set aside his own preference and was ready to tackle the subject. He sat on the couch not too close to her, but his body-language showed evident signs of trust and ease, and she felt relief in the knowledge that, whatever harsh conversation they were about to have, he still felt comfortable enough around her to let his guard down.

“Ahsoka and I swore to Anakin that we would not say a word about all that happened to us to anyone within the Senate, but I have to make an exception for you. I wouldn't be right not to.” he started.

Padmé's small cheer died down on the spot. So...things were more dire than she realised.

“But first, we both have to be honest with each other.”

Much more dire indeed !

“I always found joy, and pride, at the thought of our friendship.” Obi-Wan continued in a more affectionate voice. “For we are friends, are we not ?”

Padmé smiled back, even if she could tell where this would go, because she couldn't just stay stone-cold in front of Obi-Wan open kindness:

“After everything we've been through together ? I would not have it any other way. Your friendship is precious to me, Obi-Wan.”

The Jedi Master smiled more broadly and looked down, touched by the confession. Yet, as it seemed to have elevated his heart, it obviously weight on him too.

“Then please, if you have any respect and affection for me at all, don't lie to me tonight. Even if I know it won't be easy on you, please don't lie, don't deflect.”

So that was it...

“Anakin and you are more than just friends, are you not ?”

It took her all her experience as queen and senator to hide her feelings and not broadcast on her face how terrified and sad she felt in this moment. She chose another approach:

“What makes you say so ?”

Obi-Wan didn't look upset by the manoeuvre, accepting it even, allowing her time to face the fact that she would not be able to get her way out.

“Anakin never managed to hide his feelings for you. He didn't have to say anything, all that one who knows him well enough had to do is just look. The way he looks at you, the way he cares for you, the way he acts around you. The way his eyes brighten in your presence. He has loved you since the day you first met. And after Geonosis, I found it hard to believe that you don't feel the same.”

“We may have feelings for each other, but it doesn't mean we acted on them. Master Yoda and yourself have been quite insistent on that.”

“But does either of you ever listen...”

Padmé was surprised to note that Obi-Wan sounded more tired than angry. After a moment of silence, he asked :

“If you had a son, what would you call him ?”

The question took Padmé completely aback and she couldn't hide her bafflement. She blinked repeatedly, mouth falling open, not knowing where the question came from.

“Please, just humor me.” Obi-Wan said with another sad smile.

What would she name her son ? She had always wanted children. But her and Anakin's situation certainly didn't allow for that. Maybe once the war is over, if they finally sat down and decide their future once and for all...What would she name her son ? Something short, and bright. She'd always like the name Luke. It was common on Naboo and could be translated from the old tongue by light. And it sounded as good with Skywalker than with Naberrie...

“Luke. I would like to call my son Luke.” she said fondly.

It was as if Obi-Wan had been given the last piece of a puzzle only him could solve. Something she couldn't name shone in his eyes and his smile was both of infinite sadness and greatest hope.

“We found a place called Mortis.” Obi-Wan started.

And words kept coming, retelling her of their latest adventure, describing her things she couldn't comprehend, couldn't conceive of. He talked of godlike beings, heralds of the Force, of Anakin's destiny, of visions and time-travel, of her husband becoming another person entirely and choosing to hide away from the galaxy. He spoke for so long 3PO came and went with drinks and food three times. They barely touched it, Obi-Wan too occupied with relating everything as closely as he could how it happened and making sure she understood it all, and herself petrified in her seat, unable to move. Night had fallen hours before Obi-Wan finally stopped, his voice raw.

Padmé couldn't formulate words, all she could do was stare vacantly at the Coruscanti night sky. Her mind had gone blank, trying desperately to process everything. She was hit by the revelation that what she found hardest to deal with was not the fact that Anakin very probably had _time-traveled_ but that he could have fallen to the Dark Side and become a Sith. That, of all things, her mind couldn't accept.

“He couldn't...” she whispered.

“I wanted to believe that too. As did Ahsoka. But he admitted it himself. And that, more than everything else, would explain why he had so much trouble readjusting. I had all the way back to think about it, and I realise that I cannot let my feelings cloud the truth. Anakin fell. But he also had the strength to come back. Something that was never done before. He was given that strength by Luke. By your son.”

Padmé shut her eyes hard, unable to hold the tears back any longer. It ran on her cheeks, and she felt no shame in shedding them in front of Obi-Wan. It was tears of sorrow because in whatever future Anakin lived, she had obviously been powerless to save him, and joy because their son had succeeded where she failed. Obi-Wan took her hand in his, and she smiled gratefully at him through her tears.

“I kept those two particuliar points -his fall and Luke- outside of the Council's knowledge.”

“Why ? He broke the Jedi code, and I'm just as responsible...”

Obi-Wan remained silent, clearly searching for his words. Perhaps he didn't even know himself before she asked him. But, still holding her hand, he looked at her and said:

“Because you make him happy. Happier than I have ever seen him. I saw how lonely he grew at the Temple, against my best efforts, and how heavy his powers are often on him. You make it all disappear. With you, he can finally put aside the general, the teacher, the leader, the hero, the Chosen One...and simply be Anakin. As simply as he was when you first met.”

And at this Padmé knew she couldn't hide anymore. Obi-Wan had all but opened his heart to her, Anakin was far away, lost and in pain, and he would need all the support he could get when he came back.

“We're married.” she admitted, like a little girl caught her hand in the cookie jar.

Obi-Wan, clearly not expecting this, jerked a bit. His eyes widened and he considered her for a moment.

“When ?” was all he could ask.

“After Geonosis. When he escorted me back to Naboo.”

Obi-Wan let her hand go to rest both of his on his knees, leaning on them, his gaze distant, as other pieces of the puzzle clicked together. He exhaled strongly through his nose, and Padmé knew that, underneath all his compassion and acceptance, he was upset. Angry. And could she really blame him ?

“Will you tell this to the Council ?” she asked, afraid he might reconsider his position after such a revelation.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and shook his head slowly, as if berating himself for something he knew he shouldn't do, and replied:

“No. But you'll have to promise me never to lie to me ever again.”

That was a small price to pay, so Padmé agreed immediately.

“We will talk about his together when he comes back, that's for sure.” he promised. “Anakin said he would tell you everything anyway.”

“He didn't tell you ? What he saw, or lived.”

“No, he says we're not ready. Which heralds nothing good. I fear the Sith's plot is much more layered and complex than we could imagine. And, judging by Anakin's reaction, already much more successful. I took a risk by telling you the truth, because I'm afraid Darth Sidious' foothold in the Senate is much more prominent than we know. You are a skillful senator, and even if you cannot shield your mind like a Jedi, you guard your thoughts and feelings well, as long as Anakin is not concerned at least. You will have to put that skill to work now every moment you remain in the Senate's buildings. But do not change your outer behaviour, not to draw attention to you, alright ?”

“Understood.”

“I will keep you informed of all news we might get from Anakin, I promise.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. For...everything.”

Obi-Wan stood, signifying his intention to leave, but didn't move, looking at her with so many feelings intertwined in his features she couldn't read them all, which wasn't like Obi-Wan at all, who was usually much more guarded. Yet here he stood, and for a second Padmé felt like she was looking at the older brother she never had.

“I cannot say I'm not disappointed in you, Padmé. I thought that, between the two of you, you would be the one able to set firm boundaries and do the sensible thing. But I guess you are much more of a hopeless romantic than I realised. Still...if Anakin were to break his vows with someone, I'm glad it's with you.”

Her emotions were on a roller-coaster and hearing him scold her to praise her just after did no good for her heart. She stood to face him:

“I'm sorry we lied to you. I hope you understand why we did. But as I promised, from now on, no more lies.”

He nodded and, after a brief hesitation, took her hands again and squeezed them gently:

“Be extra careful in the Senate.”

He went to leave, but she brought him close to her and hugged him. She smiled when he returned her embrace. They parted soon, and Padmé watched him go feeling lighter.


	5. Rediscovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my lovely beta-reader StunAStoat. Her being in Texas was quite though a few weeks ago. That, plus me having PC problems resulting in loosing some of my pre-written material resulted in this chapter not being entirely beta-read but I didn't want to delay too much considering that it will take a little longer to rewrite the next chapter, so sorry for any lingering mistakes :s

Anakin watched the shuttle rise then disappear between the thick clouds. He felt the moment Obi-Wan and Ahsoka left the atmosphere and returned to the galaxy, their presences dimming into the Force. In this moment, he knew there was no turning back anymore. But he was fully committed to his path, and he didn't regret his choice. 

Turning to the Father, he saw the old man looking at him empathetically. He seemed to understand Anakin's feelings and that for the best, as Anakin wasn't in the mood for sharing right now. He was tired, his body heavy and sluggish, his mind hurting from a lifetime of damages. 

“There will be plenty of time for you to train and learn,” the Father said. “But now you should simply rest. Have some food, a long shower and a deep sleep.”

“It is just early morning.” Anakin noticed, skeptical. 

“Because it is forbidden to lie down outside a determined set of hours ?” the Father countered with just the right amount of mirth. 

“I doubt sleep would even find me,” Anakin said. “I haven't slept in a long time...”

“Which is precisely why you should try and do so now. You need to get good habits back. And do not forget that a healthy mind only comes from a healthy body.”

A healthy mind in a healthy body...well those were two things Anakin hadn't in his possession since...since...well, better not go down that road just yet... At the simple thought of a healthy body, part of him wanted to cackle like a madman. He'd been a medical nightmare for two decades, a good portion of his mind entirely focused on just keeping him from dropping dead on the spot. He had to be careful about everything, and made it all worse by actually seeking out some of this pain to fuel his power. 

So the perspective of just going to bed after a good diner and waking up well rested was a hard one to consider. 

“Do you want to get better, or not ?” the Father asked, a little more insistent.

Not really liking being talked to like a child, Anakin's irritation sparked, but he squeezed his fists tight, swallowed it back and reminded himself he didn't choose to remain here just for the sights. 

“I do.”

“Then follow me.”

Anakin fell in steps with the Father back inside the monastery. He didn't lead him back to the small room he'd slept in on his first night on Mortis. Instead they went up a spiral staircase leading to a corridor brightly lit by a tall ornamented window facing the rising sun, where several doors aligned.

“If you're to stay here with me for an extended period of time, we'll find you quarters you'll be comfortable in. Choose any room you want here. Some may contain changes of clothes, if you wish so. Take your time. Wash up. And when you're ready, come to find me in the dining room.”

“Do you often get many visitors ?” Anakin wondered.

“Long ago, sometimes. And never again in the future.”

His voice was almost sad as he said so, but a touch of happiness blurred that feeling. He turned and left Anakin alone in the corridor. Five doors lined up, and Anakin walked toward them. The Father was right. If he was going to stay here a long time, better get comfortable right now. It would be a nice change, to be comfortable...

He opened the first door and discovered a large bedroom with a high ceiling. The opposite wall was one massive window with an impressive view of the world around the monastery. Anakin hated it instantly. The view was beautiful but the room too opulent with its massive bed, stone-made wardrobe and plush carpet. It was the kind of room a king would feel perfectly at home in. It screamed of wealth and useless luxury. He left nearly as soon as he'd opened the door. 

The second door led to a much more acceptable place, more minimalist, but the ceiling there was too low for comfort and Anakin quickly felt like he couldn't breath. The third room was small, with little light, but otherwise good. Still, Anakin closed the door back. Going to the fourth, Anakin had the nagging feeling the whole place was actually trying to figure out what he wanted, narrowing down the hypothesis according to what he didn't like in one place. And maybe he wasn't completely wrong, because the fourth room felt perfect. Spacious but not overly big, it had all he could need: a large bed, a desk, a wardrobe, enough room to meditate and to add a workbench if he wanted to. The light came in by two floor to ceiling windows which reminded him of his shared apartment with Ahsoka at the Jedi Temple, especially by the fact that sunset would be right in front of it. 

Anakin sat on the bed, judging the room around him with his eyes, and scanning it with the Force. It felt good and safe. Anakin ran his flesh hand on the bed cover and marveled once more at the sensation at the tip of his fingers. The fabric was of simple making but soft. Suddenly feeling the urge to feel more, to touch more, Anakin put off his boots and socks and buried his toes in the carpet, its short pile tickling the sole of his feet. He played with the carpet like this for a minute, then realized he really didn't feel like putting on his boots again. Actually, all of his clothes itched, like he didn't belong in them, and he couldn't wait to put them aside in a corner and forget about them. So he walked to the wardrobe and opened it. No luck there. So he went back to the other rooms, and rummaged through them, taking with him as much as he could find and brought it back to his room. He put it all in a pile on the bed and went to the door he hoped led to the fresher. 

It was indeed, and he wasted no time in shedding his sweat-soaked clothes, tossing them on the floor carelessly and, resolutely not looking down upon his own body, he entered the fresher and turned on the water without thinking much about it. His body reacted to the contact instantly: the moment the lukewarm water touched his skin, he jerked back, no longer used to the feeling. He felt like a nine years-old boy again, who discovered that showers weren't only sonic. He had loved it back then, so Anakin willed himself to go back under the falling water. All his muscles unflexed as the warming water ran on him and Anakin actually had to hold himself still by grabbing the walls, fearing his legs would give out under him. It had been so long ! So long since he had felt anything against his skin other than the itching agony of synthskin and necrotic skin. Bacta tanks could barely wash it away...His hair was sticking to his skin as well, like wet threads of silk, caressing it instead of irritating it. Anakin closed his eyes and lifted his head, letting the water fall on his face. His nerves were waking up and were first baffled by the absence of pain, then ecstatic at the softness and warmth of water. Such a mundane yet vastly underrated pleasure.

He didn't know how long he stayed like this but it must have been long, as the skin on his fingers was now wrinkled. So he stopped the water, searched for a towel and started to dry his hair. When it was no longer dripping water in his eyes, he stopped and stood still. He knew what he had to do but part of him categorically refused to do so. He wasn't sure he understood why. It was a good thing after all...Taking a deep breath, Anakin looked down at his body.

His prosthetic arm had dried quickly and the metal shone lightly under the sunlight coming from the high window. How strange, how what was once foreign was now the most familiar part of himself. His arms were strong and thick, his torso lean and muscular, his legs athletic. His skin was a little red after so long under the water but he could still make out numerous scars, some earned in the Clone Wars, some during his childhood as a slave...He ran his prosthetic finger in a line on the smooth skin of his left arm, where the junction of flesh and metal should have been, marveling at its absence. The metal of the prosthetic had cooled a bit and sent shivers on the line Anakin had drawn and, with his body still wet, he was starting to get cold. It was strange, because even if his body registered it as an unpleasant sensation, Anakin's mind was still thrilled to feel it at all.

Walking to the sink, Anakin gripped its edges strongly, his knuckles turning white, then forced himself to look into the mirror. 

He knew the face that was staring back at him. He knew those blue eyes, the set of this jaw and those cheekbones. He remembered those dark circles under the eyes and the memory of how that scar happened was still vivid in his mind. He recognised the man in the mirror. It was Anakin Skywalker, the Hero With No Fear, general of the Grand Army of the Republic and Jedi Knight, husband to Padmé Amidala Naberrie, master to Ahsoka Tano. He recognized the man in the mirror but he didn't _know_ him because it was not him. It was the Anakin Skywalker that lived twenty-three years ago. Not the one who was alive now. Who that man was, that he had no idea...

  
  


When he arrived in the dining room, hours had passed. The sun had reached then passed its zenith, but the Father didn't mind. He was sitting cross-legged on a large cushion in front of a low table, and his eyes followed Anakin as he walked inside, going from his loose black shirt and black pants to his bare feet, glancing over his prosthetic hand no longer covered by the thick leather glove. He made no comment on his appearance as Anakin sat on the cushion on the other side of the table, and Anakin detailed the meal laid out before him. Nothing too fancy, just a loaf of bread, a bowl of soup, some fruits and a carafe of water. 

“Your body might be the same, but your mind isn't,” the Father said. “It's not used to proper food anymore, so I didn't want to risk you being sick by offering you something too sophisticated.”

Anakin couldn't agree more. Despite his stomach rumbling and contracting under the strain of hunger, he wasn't sure he would be able to eat all of the simple meal. Yet the smell was inviting and after decades eating nothing else but RedMed vitapaste, he couldn't deny eating solid food was tempting. 

So he thanked the Father with a nod, then carefully took a piece of bread, dipped it in the soup and brought it to his mouth. He actually moaned when the taste overcame his taste buds. The soup was made of an unknown vegetable but it was slightly spicy and the bread was not too salty. For anyone it might have been bland and common, but for Anakin, it was the best food he'd had in years. Chewing on it slowly to make it last, as if there wasn't more left, Anakin savoured this first bite with the respect due to it, enjoying how the bread melted on his tongue. He then started digging on his plate like a man starved, forcing himself not to wolf it all down and to take time to appreciate it. It still took him less than five minutes to finish the bread and his bowl. The Father was watching him silently, a soft smile curling his lips, as Anakin drank a cup of water in one go. He then took the first fruit he could reach, and took a bite with both hunger and curiosity. It was sweet and very juicy, with small pips and he promptly swallowed it, followed by three more. 

When he was finally full, he sighed with relief. It was so good to be able to do all those simple things again. To eat, drink, spend hours in the fresher, walk bare feet and feel every texture of the ground, to feel the air and the water against his skin...

“You will meet me here every day, at the appointed hours,” the Father said. “It's not negotiable. If I'm to wait for you to sustain yourself, I'm afraid we will find you frail and malnourished by the end of the month.”

Anakin shot him a dark look. What did he think Anakin was ? A five year-old ?

“Was your first instinct to rest and get food this morning ?” the Father asked. “Do you always sleep when your body needs it, or do you prefer to keep watch and busy yourself to avoid sleep ? 

Anakin stubbornly said nothing.

“No, you've always done the latter, especially since the war, and I won't even talk about your time as Vader. So, don't you think it's a good idea that I ask that simple thing of you ?”

Out of spite, Anakin remained silent. But he wondered how the Father could know so many things about him. He might have seen his future, but he couldn't possibly know his habits from before that point in time...

“If I am to teach you anything today, it will be this: take good care of your body. And that includes food and sleep on a regular basis. Now, you should return to your quarters and rest.”

Anakin hated to be told what to do like this. All his life, people had done so, ordering him around, deciding for him what he should be doing, how he should be feeling or not feeling. He'd been a slave, a padawan under the orders of his master then a knight under the orders of the Jedi Council, then an attack dog at the beck and call of the Emperor...He was done being ordered around ! His anger rose and it felt like fire in his veins, comforting in its familiarity. But he then notices the plates vibrating and splinters being torn from the table while the sky grew darker.

It was like a slap in the face. Closing his eyes, he focused on releasing his anger into the Force instead of fueling it. The Father wanted to help him after all, and what he asked did make sense and was indeed what was best for Anakin, even if he didn't like it. It would prove beneficial in the long run and wasn't that hard, if one thought about it. So Anakin willed himself to swallow his pride.

“Thank you for the meal.” he said. “I shall go back to my chambers now.”

He stood and bowed, not waiting for an answer. It was the best he could do right now. 

In his room, he sat heavily on the bed, his hands running over his face, shaking a little. He'd have to do better than that in the coming days. He couldn't just fall back into old habits because it was easier. He'd tried the easy path before, and didn't like where it led. And the difference between the light and the dark, between Jedi and Sith was just that: go on the easy path and you'll get the power you seek quickly, only to meet your downfall soon after. Go the hard way, and what you build will last thousands of years. He should know that. He _knew_ that. Yet knowing and doing were two very distinct things...So much for claiming the moral high-ground with the Son.

“You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Your journey has just begun. You cannot expect perfection from the start.”

Anakin jumped to his feet, turning to find himself face to face with the transparent blue figure of Qui-Gon Jinn. Part of him told him he shouldn't be surprised, he'd seen Qui-Gon here before, but his rational mind always assumed it was some kind of illusion. Qui-Gon was dead. Dead couldn't come back. And the Son was no longer there to trick him. So to see him before him...

“Master...” he whispered in disbelief.

“I am truly here, this is no deception.”

“How ? It's impossible...”

“I have learned how to preserve my consciousness within the Cosmic Force.” Qui-Gon explained. “Something that, in the future you come from, I taught to Yoda, who in turn taught it to Obi-Wan, and they both used that knowledge to guide and protect Luke, and to guide you to the Netherworld after your passing.”

“Why did you never come to us ? In the past, I mean.”

“My training was incomplete, and I still struggle to manifest myself in the galaxy. It's easier here, because this planet is made of the Force itself.”

Anakin said nothing and looked at the man who saved him from slavery. As a child he had wanted him back so badly. Now though...He was filled with a resentment he believed only half misplaced.

“So, even if it was challenging, you could have shown yourself. To me, to...”

His throat closed, too many emotions raging inside him. 

“I understand how you might be feeling.” Qui-Gon said in a voice too stoic for Anakin's taste.

“Oh, do you now.”

“You think I abandoned you.”

“Abandoned me ? You saved me from slavery but left my mother to rot in it. You promised me a better life at the Jedi Temple only to leave me alone on the threshold. You tore me away from everything I knew with kindness, only to throw me in a world which didn't want me, to fend for myself.”

Anakin spat all his bitterness at the ghost's face in a cold voice, the cutting tone shaking the walls worse than if he'd yelled. But Qui-Gon took it, impassive, even sad:

“You're right. I should have been stronger. When I fought Maul, I knew I wasn't only fighting for the freedom of Naboo, or Obi-Wan's survival. He was proof the Sith were back and I had just found the Chosen One. I knew the result of this duel would define many fates, most of all yours. But I failed. By my weakness I failed you and the future that might have been if I had stayed with you.”

Anakin was surprised to hear him admit his fault. That was something he personally was terrible at, and twenty years in the Empire where everyone threw the blame on the person next to them was a poor exemple.

“I do not know if I would have been a good teacher to you, or if I even was your Force-intended teacher...”

“Obi-Wan didn't do such a great job, in retrospect.” Anakin hissed.

Qui-Gon gave him a stern look:

“Obi-Wan did the best he could. He was too young, and not ready for the burden I so callously placed on him. He tried his best while being given no time to grieve himself. All he did, he did in your best interest. I know that he sometimes made mistakes, and failed to understand you, but you didn't make it easy for him either.” he chastened.

Anakin looked at the ground, a little guilty at the reprimand. 

“Maybe Obi-Wan was your Force-intended teacher, maybe I was. But what I know in my heart is that I was your Force-intended father !”

Anakin's head shot up, eyes big. He hadn't forgotten how Qui-Gon had so quickly taken that place in his heart when they were on Tatooine. The way Qui-Gon had been so kind to his mother and him, so understanding, yet firm and authoritarian, in a very different way than a slave master would be. As a child, Anakin would do as told by Watto but internally fought him all the way. When Qui-Gon gave an order or demanded something, it was easy to comply, and Anakin had always wondered if it was like that, to have a father.

“I should have been the one you would look up to as a father. But I failed you, and you turned to Palpatine for this. You are not to blame. You were a child, searching desperately for something and Palpatine is a ruthless manipulator. But know that this time, I will not leave you !”

“What do you mean ?”

“With your permission, I will assist the Father and help you to heal your heart, mind and soul. I will do as I should have years ago, take you as my Padawan, and teach you the best I can, as long as you are here. I will do right by you this time, and not let you face your destiny alone.”

“That is how the Father knows me so well, isn't it ?” Anakin said darkly. “Because you told him about me.”

“I did,” Qui-Gon recognized shamelessly. “We both take your well-being seriously, and two voices against your stubbornness are better than one.”

“Did you also whisper in my ear as I considered fighting the Son ? Did you use the Force to trick my mind ?” Anakin asked again with venom dripping from his voice.

To his credit, Qui-Gon stood unmoved by Anakin’s aggression, and had the integrity to admit: :

“I did not trick you. I simply brought back memories that would remind you of who you really are: a healer of a very special kind. You repair and fix things in a way no one else can. You made your conclusions, and chose the path to follow entirely on your own. You may resent me for now, but I know you are aware that, in this moment, you needed more than anything proof that you could follow a better, lighter path, to trust yourself enough to make the right decision for the future.”

Anakin hated the truth in those words. He hated feeling manipulated again...He hated that he still hated so readily...

Exhaustion took over him, and he let himself fall on the bed, shoulder slumping heavily.

“I need to think about it all. For now...just go.”

Qui-Gon didn't fight him, just nodded and vanished. Anakin stood completely still for a long moment, until mental fatigue drained all energy out of him. So he took his shirt off, let it fall on the ground and crawled into his bed. The pillows were so soft he sank into them, but the mattress was firm by contrast. He lay watching the afternoon lights play on the ceiling, but, way sooner than he expected it, his eyes closed, and he fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.

  
  


When he woke up, the light of dawn was slowly invading his room. His body was a little numb and his stomach howling for food, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so well-rested. The bed was warm and the light soft, his mind was waking up at an unhurried pace. He had no idea about what he was going to do today; for the first time in memory he had no schedule rushing him out of bed. Ensconced in the cozy bed, he indulged in a few minutes of doing nothing but enjoying the moment, stretching leisurely. But a few minutes was all he could endure. One thing he knew for sure would never change was his constant need to move. So he got up, went to the fresher, then organized the clothes he left in a messy pile on the floor into the closet. He put on the ones he wore for midday's meal yesterday, still leaving the shoes aside - he just couldn't stop touching, and therefore feeling, things with his hands or feet -, and finally went exploring for food. 

In the same room where he ate the night before, he found another plate of fruits and a kettle of tea, still warm. Biting in a purple grape, Anakin mused that taking time to savor his meals wouldn't be a hard routine to fall into after so many years of vitapaste. He took the plate with him to the panoramic view, letting the calm of the morning settle within him while the sky grew brighter.

He was finishing his fifth fruit when the door opened and the Father entered. When he noticed Anakin, he smiled largely:

“Good morning. Are you well-rested ?”

“I am. I haven't felt this good in ages.” 

“I trust that you are, after sleeping like a dead man for nearly three days.” the father said, eyes gleaming with mirth.

Anakin choked, coughing for a minute.

“I slept for three days ?!” he repeated when he could finally breathe again.

“You needed it, so I didn't wake you. But now that you are back among the living, there is a place I want to show you,” he said, waving to Anakin to follow him. “You might want to put some shoes on. We'll have to walk a bit.”

Anakin stood and went to follow the Father, who didn't move and instead looked pointedly at Anakin's bare feet. All Anakin did was to raise an eyebrow, daring the Father to make any comment. The old being just sighed, recognizing that Anakin was stubborn enough to get his way every time.

They walked for about an hour. The rocks under Anakin's feet were hard and sharp, but his skin was thick and he quickly ignored it, while the tickling of blades of grass was wonderful and he often drifted off the path just to feel it.

On the way, Anakin took in the planet around him. It was green and lush, valleys and mountains. Far away, he could see plains and a river. It was warm and sunny, white clouds sometimes lingering around floating rocks of various sizes. But most of all, Anakin could feel the Force everywhere. The planet was steeped deep in it, and, now that his mind was clear after undisturbed sleep and set on purpose, Anakin could feel how strongly it resonated within him. His senses were all at the height of their capacity, enhanced by the presence of the Force, and he soon realized that was what allowed him to see so far away, hear the rustling of each leaf and the gurgling of a steam down the hill they were walking on. It was a wonderful experience for him, to see and hear the world around him in full colors and high definition, not hindered by lenses and damaged sensitive organs. His helmet had a terrible sound filter - everything came to his ear at the same volume, making silence blessed. Nowsound was sweet again. 

When they reached their destination, Anakin understood right away why the Father wanted to bring him here. It was a small graveyard for ships, consisting of a half dozen or more from widely different periods of times, judging by their designs, and all in more or less advanced stages of disrepair. 

“As I told you, you and your friends were not our first visitors. Those ships were left behind because another means of travel was offered. With the passing of time here, each withered away differently.”

Anakin approached some of them. The one in front of him was a defender-class light corvette used by the Jedi Order during the times of the Old Republic and the Great Galactic War. It appeared to be in decent condition so he asked:

“Why didn't your son use one of those to leave the planet ? Why steal our ship while dozens of them just lied waiting ?”

“Because all of them need extensive repairs and updates to simply fly, let alone break through the atmosphere. My son was no engineer. But you are.”

Anakin let his hand ran on the surface of the hull, its metal warming up under the sun.

“This is Qui-Gon's idea, right ?” he said, just a little bitter. 

“It is indeed. He thought it would give you just what you needed: something to work on, challenging enough to motivate you but easy enough for you to practice moving meditation. It will give you something to do to keep occupy and avoid boredom when you're not training, and it will be necessary if you want to leave this place eventually.”

Yes, it was perfect. Anakin couldn't fault that. Qui-Gon really thought about everything...So why was he still a little angry at the man ?

He must have broadcast his feelings into the Force, because the Father gave him an apologetic smile:

“That's what fathers do.”

And Anakin would be damned again if he knew why, but that simple sentence banished all anger and resentment left in him toward the dead master.

“Alright.” Anakin accepted. “It is a brilliant idea. Qui-Gon is a good mentor. I look forward receiving both your teachings.”

The Force hummed contently around him. Both Anakin and the Father were aware of it, and the old being just said:

“So, shall we begin ?”

Anakin nodded and the Father opened his mouth to say something but his eyes fell on the ground and what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks. Anakin followed his gaze and noticed small patches of blood on the ground, forming a trail up until his feet. He turned one upward and was confirmed the blood came from him. His foot was hurt in many places, cut by the rocks on the path. But he didn't feel a thing then. Nor did he now. His nerves seemed numb and didn't transmit the sensation up to his brain. Or maybe he was so used to much higher levels of pain he was just perfectly immune to ordinary ones. That could be both very convenient and very inconvenient !

“Lesson number one: shoes !” the Father said in a voice more strict than ever.

“No, thank you. It's nothing, it will heal in no time.”

“It would not have happened if you'd wear...”

“NO !” Anakin cut sharply.

Yes, off to a very good start...

  
  


That very evening, Anakin, the Father and Qui-Gon sat together to talk and agree on the best course of training. The Father and Qui-Gon immediately established that a strict and inflexible schedule was necessary, for Anakin to reacquaint himself with the simple things such as sleeping and eating at regular hours, so that it would become natural to him. Even he could already foresee a certain degree of boredom in the long run with this but, if anything, Sidious had taught him rigorous self-discipline and Anakin planned to put it to good use. 

Days were to start with breakfast at sunrise, morning dedicated to the physical aspects of training such as lightsaber practice and use of the Force; midday would be lunch-break, then afternoon would be spent in meditation and matters of the spirit. That part was a little harder to accept for Anakin as it all encompassed what he never liked or cared for, so spending hours straight each day on it wasn't exactly tempting. Qui-Gon all but baited him in suggesting to close the daily routine by some hours of work on the ships to ease his mind before evening meal. He was then free to spend his evening as he liked, as long as he went to bed by midnight. Even if it felt like being an Initiate all over again, Anakin couldn't deny it to be justified, and twenty-three years as Sidious's apprentice had tempered his rebellious nature, so he agreed. 

Before going to bed that night, he went to his room to gather his Jedi clothes, brought them to the courtyard, and proceeded to burn them to ashes. As the flames casted moving shadows on his face, he felt his teachers gazes on him from afar but they soon left him to his thoughts as they understood the meaning of the act for him. Vader had been truly born in the fire that had consumed the last pieces of the Jedi Anakin had once been on Mustafar. If he wanted to start anew, it felt right to burn his past selves. Even if nothing but symbolic, Anakin simply had to do this. A strange kind of catharsis felt upon him as he realised, as the flames were dying out, that he had no trouble letting go of what those clothes represented. So as he left the courtyard, he didn't bother turning back to look at the last remnants of fabric being blown into the wind.

  
  


The next morning, Anakin and his teachers found out that, if their training schedule was perfect on paper, in reality, it would be much more trying than they anticipated. Being young and strong again had its perks, but just as Anakin had observed after his awakening, his mind was trapped between two timelines and it impacted the proper functioning of his body. What used to be natural in his twenties were now much harder to pull off, even when it came to basic stamina and agility.

So for morning training, he started by running. Every morning, he ran through the jungles of Mortis, jumping over fallen trees, crossing over deep ravines, climbing steep cliffs, until his muscles screamed for mercy, his breath burning his lungs and standing was a feat in itself. He didn't go far at first, never able to run longer than a couple of hours when he should have been able to go at it full morning. He always came back panting heavily before he collapsed on the ground, only to have the Father have him start the lap again. He therefore always arrived at lunch-break barely standing on his legs, and wolfing down his food, his body desperate for some fuel and energy. 

One could think that this state of fatigue would make afternoon meditation easier, but one would be wrong. Sith meditation's technique still came to him most easily and that was no way to achieve peace. He once tried to convince Qui-Gon and the Father to forego this particular training point, and focus on moving meditation, yet they were unyielding, and Anakin had to suffer long hours of sitting still, with nothing but his past mistakes to taunt him, his fear of calling upon the Dark Side to hold him back and his growing anger at his inability to move past it all. That promptness to anger and lingering fear irritated him even more. It has always been a problem, now that he looked back on his life. Fear and anger were always triggered easily, growing worse with age, which was something his Jedi teaching should have prevented. He once brought it up to Qui-Gon:

“The Jedi are good and mean well. They always had your well-being in mind, but their failure was in not understanding you and your needs.” his mentor said. “When I first met you, you were well-adjusted, emotionally, but it slowly fell apart with the Jedi teachings, because, despite their best intentions, your masters failed to understand that those teachings couldn't be drilled into you the same way they were on others Initiates and Padawans. They wanted to make the best Jedi out of you, for you to become the best version of yourself, but they failed to account for your personal history, which was very unlike any other Jedi. They kept believing that you were the one who should adapt and adjust to the Jedi teachings, and in some ways they were right, but they also had to adapt the teachings to you. Like any symbiotic relationship, it goes both ways. There, it did not.”

Anakin pondered it deeply.

“I think here lies the root of your bumpy relationship with the Jedi. You misunderstood each-other. Where they tried to teach you to accept, control, then release your emotions, you thought you were asked not to feel those emotions at all. Therefore you repressed them, and repressed emotions always end up blowing up. But you are not the only one to blame. I often spoke to the Council about how I believed the Jedi were...not losing their way but...losing something that we should have never lost in the first place. But maybe you will be able to change that too, give us back what we lost. Show us the light...”

“Well, to show people the light, I need to see it first, and I feel lost in the dark right now.” Anakin said sadly.

“You were lost, yes. But you are finding your way back. You need to accept your emotions, your anger, your fear, but also your love. Your love most of all. Stop being ashamed of them. They are part of any sentient being, but it's how you deal with them that makes you who you are.”

So Anakin tried to shuffle the game to his advantage by using the Sith technique by focusing on his emotions, but only the positive ones: his love for his children, his hope for the future, and the will to correct his wrongs. 

It made meditation a little easier, but it was still a struggle as he was burning like a sun inside again, as with his old body came also his old connexion to the Force, hundred times stronger that what he'd been during his years as Vader. The Dark Side had granted Vader immense power, but the loss of sixty-five percent of his organic body had turned Anakin's power into the shadow of itself. Like a composer gone deaf, Anakin had the memories of the notes but could no longer hear them. Now, Anakin had found his hearing back and he felt both overjoyed and assaulted by the sound flooding his ears. The supernova that was his inner core was back in full intensity and it soon turned out to be one more issue, as under Vader's armor he was used to reach out fully, without restraints, to grasp as much power as he could and unleash it. The result as a monster more machine than man had been almighty ! So the first time he called on to the Force for a light push, Anakin had been none the wiser and what was once a thick forest now stood empty plain sprinkled of thousands of stumps. Every time he called on to the Force, its response was immediate and loud, and Anakin simply didn't realize how much power he called upon. By getting back the missing sixty-five percent of his body, he gained sixty-five percent more of midi-chlorians, each of them a gateway to the Force. His every emotion impacted to planet around him, as the Force reflected them upon Mortis, as the Daughter and Son's influence had, his anger was shaking the ground until it cracked open, his focus could turned the sand around him into glass during meditation, and when exhaustion took its toll on his mind and he felt hopeless, plants just withered and died. 

If Anakin lashed out, the degree of destruction he could bring about was nothing like he ever saw before, and most of the time, it was unintentional. 

So control and restrain became a matter of utmost importance. Padawan classes, day 1... 

It was hard for him to start over like this, especially when he didn't trust himself to call on the Force when using it. For even the simplest things, Anakin was terrified that he might feel the cold and sickly presence of the Dark Side. The Father showed great patience with him about this matter, taking time to explain to Anakin that it was all about choice. He might feel the Dark Side, but nothing was forcing him to use it if he didn't want to. The Dark would try and tempt him, all he had to do was stand firm and refuse it. Remember the sweet and tender embrace of the light, and the Dark would never take hold. It became Anakin's mantra, one that he repeated himself everytime he doubted. It's all about choice ! He did all the wrong ones before, so now was time to make the right ones.

His mind was begging for oblivion by the end of the afternoon, and working on the ships was the sweetest escape. Working on mechanics again, getting motor oil up to the elbows, repairing what'd been damaged...it felt so good. Making any of those ships work again was no small task, but Anakin welcomed the challenge with enthusiasm. He first had to make a full diagnostic of all the ships, see what he could salvage and what was no more than spare parts. It turned out the ship most likely to be revived was the light corvette Anakin had spotted the first time. So he had to sort out the parts that could be adapted to it from the other ships. Just this part was a plus-size puzzle that would drive most people mad but made Anakin's mind sharper. It was an engineer's fantasy and he lived it fully. Instinctively, he knew how to mend the broken power convector, how to upgrade the hyperdrive to match one of the latest models by using thousand of years old parts...It reminded him of what he truly liked to do and that caused no harm to anyone. On the contrary, his uncanny ability to work his way around any kind of machine had always led to salvation: it had allowed him to make life more comfortable for him and his mother, it won him his freedom, it saved countless lives as his incessant trinkering had pushed the GAR to remake the whole fleet to match the level of efficiency of his own flagship...If he could give a second life so effortlessly to machines, could he do the same for living beings ? Would he be able to fix the Republic and the Jedi Order like this ? Would he be able to fix himself first ? When working on the ship, he felt like he could safely indulge in this hope and, without him realising it, he always fell into meditation and therefore arrived each day at the dinner table drained out of energy, but the torment of his mind calmed a bit.

Evenings were spent differently every day to avoid making each day a clone of the other. During the first weeks, Anakin enjoyed most of all going out and explore the planet, finding out quickly that it never stayed the same and when he went back some place two days after his first visit, a different scenery would greet him. It made exploring all the more interesting, and revived his long lost curiosity. If he did not explore the outside grounds, Anakin would explore the monastery which, luckily, didn't change on a daily basis. He found the kitchen on his second day, and asked hesitantly if he could use it to prepare his own meals. He used to enjoy cooking, as it reminded him of happy times with his mother, and Padmé, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had loved his cooking. After so many years without solid food and working tastebuds, he was unsure he would be able to be any good at it again, and for sure, the first few tries weren't successful, as he couldn't properly measure out the seasoning. But he kept trying. 

He also kept finding new libraries as time went on. Within them, he found holocrons both Jedi and Sith. He kept resolutely away from the Sith ones and if he was intrigued by the Jedi ones, he wasn't sure to be in a mental place where he wouldn't just roll his eyes every time a long dead master would try to put some wisdom into him. So he searched for more practical things and finally found detailed blueprints from ships of all time periods, which would help him a lot in his work. He would sometimes look for the Father or search for Qui-Gon's presence, and they would spend their evening together, talking about various subjects or not at all. 

Then Anakin would go to his room and force himself to look in the mirror. The changes were subtle, but they were here. After a few days a light stubble had appeared but he didn't feel like shaving, so he let it grow longer, along with his hair. 

Then he would go to bed and try to find sleep, which turned out to be elusive and complicated again. He had been lucky that exhaustion had weighed so heavily on him on the first days, because his old good insomnia was quick to return. Despite his best efforts, and the sheer state of exhaustion he was left in at the end of every day, some nights sleep just wouldn't find him and he'd turn and turn again in his bed, wondering if hitting his head hard against the wall wasn't the best solution. And those were the lucky nights. The rest of the time he fell into an agitated slumber, plagued by nightmares. His regrets and heavy conscience bled into his dreams and he often woke up sweating at the sound of the screams of dying younglings or tortured rebel prisoners. Sometimes his mind couldn't find its way out of the flames burning down everything, from the Jedi Temple to his own body, and in those moments, Qui-Gon had to stay by his sides for hours, guiding him out of the endless loop of horror with gentle and rational words, reminding him that all those deeds belonged to a past he could now change. The younglings weren't doomed to fall under his blade. The clones could be stopped from carrying Order 66. Padmé didn't have to die, her heart broken. Alderaan could be spared from annihilation. All of it belonged to a future-past that would never be born, if Anakin willed it so. 

So he went to bed every night, with the dread of seeing his mistakes on display, ready to rightfully torment him, and the determination to keep them at the stage of nightmare, never closer to reality.

And so on, weeks went by, turning into months. Every day he ran a little longer, a little further, his legs getting stronger, his balance coming back to him, his stamina lasting longer. Within a few months, the Father and Qui-Gon had designed an elaborate racecourse throughout the planet to shame the Jedi Temple best training ground, only to keep up with Anakin's progress and abilities. 

As his physical limits kept being pushed further and further, it took him little time to perform his katas perfectly again. Qui-Gon was fully responsible for this part of Anakin's training, and was an unforgiving teacher. Even though he couldn't spar against his student, Qui-Gon had a keen eye to spot where Anakin could improve, pushing him to work on the forms he never favored, stressing Anakin's training in Ataru. First, Anakin thought it the result of Qui-Gon's own prefered style, but the acrobatics of the form proved a perfect exercise to rebuild Anakin's agility and stamina, in pair with running.

Anakin had been hesitant at first to pick up his lightsaber again, afraid the crystal inside of it would feel wrong and tainted by his dark deeds. He had tucked his weapon in a sheet and hid it away in a drawer of the desk in his room, forgetting about it for a few weeks. But the Father had insisted, pointing out that kybers were not known to turn against the Jedi they bonded with, and that fear was the very exact emotion Anakin needed to learn how to let go of. It was fear that had dominated his life up until now, pushing him to make all the wrong choices. It was the root of almost all of Anakin's insecurities and issues, and therefore was the one emotion he would have to tame the best. So Anakin had turned the blade on, and its icy-blue color allayed his mind. He focused on the crystal's song and found it as steady as usual. He remembered that Jedi and kyber worked together in a symbiotic relationship, as complementary partners, while the Sith submitted it to their will, like they did everything. If he trusted his kyber crystal, then it would trust him back.

Now, Anakin thought of his lightsaber as an extension of himself again, swirling it confidently with precision and grace in a completely made up kata he invented with Qui-Gon, where his hands never closed around the hilt, making it dance along his limbs instead in intricated patterns, the Force guiding his movements. He and his blade were not training, they were dancing, knowing each step the other had to take instinctively. This kata was made for Anakin and Anakin alone, to rebuild his trust in the Force and his lightsaber, and to finally remove Vader's armor's weight from his mind. 

During the meditation sessions, under the Father's patient guidance, he managed to go beyond his cautiousness, and found the Force waiting for him. Like a parent standing a few feets away from a toddler learning how to walk toward them, the Force was patiently standing still but ready to catch him. And each time he used it without reserves, he could feel the Force humming contently inside of him, rewarding his trust and inviting him deeper. Each time he managed to find peace in mediation (which was still a struggle), he felt like the Force truly had a will, as it worked alongside him to appease his sorrows and ease his hurts.

So he allowed himself to trust the Force and kept repeating to himself his newfound mantra.

He reflected upon Qui-Gon's words about being ashamed of his own feelings and forced himself to look into them. Love had both doomed and saved him. But now he understood why. He understood the difference between selfish love and selfless love. His mother had taught him how to love selflessly and, by letting him go to a better life even if it was without her and that it caused her sorrow, she had given him the example he should have followed. She was stronger than he ever was. Her life had been nothing but a long succession of hardship, pain and ordeals, but when it could have turned her into a bitter and uncaring person, she chose to remain kind and gentle, and patient, her heart never darkening one bit. Padmé was the same, in some ways, with her constant faith that things and people could be and would be better. Luke had inherited all from them both. 

Loving Luke wasn't something Anakin was ashamed of anymore. His son was his light, and he couldn't help but smile at how Padmé had perfectly chosen his name. Luke had been full of love, and had resisted the call of the Dark Side when Anakin had failed to do so. Luke was a better Jedi than most. If he could change the Jedi Order, he would try and make it in his son's image, which gave him peace whenever his somber thoughts threatened to drown him. He conjured his face in his mind every time his spirit lowered, clinging on the fact that, if Luke believed he could be and do good, then he would prove him right.

He thought about his daughter often too, wondering who she could have been and what she was like. Luke had been fiercely protective of her, and had loved her most of all, he could feel it during the final moments of their duel. When he had searched for Luke's past on Tatooine, he had found nothing about a girl or sister, so they must have been separated at birth, to protect them from Palpatine and himself. To know that they had found each-other once grown up warmed his heart. 

So he kept the thought of them close, and it gave him the strength to face his demons.

He found the courage to ask the Father which holocrons he should try first, which ones would be less likely to rub him the wrong way, and his mentor selected a few. Anakin tentatively started to learn from them. They were recorded by various Jedi throughout different eras and Anakin took the time to analyse how the Jedi teachings had changed up until today and, with Qui-Gon's guidance, started to form a selection of those he thought would help him best. When he stumbled upon a holocron recorded by none other than Bastilla Shan, he asked the Father where in all Sith Hells did he get it, only to be answered by a cryptic smile, which made Anakin want to slap him but he restrained himself without difficulties. 

The Father and Qui-Gon were fair mentors and always pointed out when he improved, and pushed him back in the right path when old habits clung too hard on him. Anakin was pleased to see that he had made significant progress. Still, when he expected it the less, his body reminded him of traumas yet unhealed and that he would have never thought about. 

When he went for a swim in a lake, he'd been delighted by the feeling of water around him, but when he dived underwater, his mind when on full panic attack as the pressure of the water around him suddenly felt like a bacta tank, unable to breath through the liquid, and he almost felt the straps that kept him in place in the tank on his skin. He had almost drowned, and fought his way to the rocky beach where he spent long minutes trying to breath again. He never set foot in the lake again after that. 

When training against remotes at their full power, it was only when the Father or Qui-Gon turned them off in a hurry that Anakin realised that he had been shot several times and was actually bleeding. He never felt it, just like with the rocks on the path to the ships' graveyard. His tolerance to pain was off the charts now, which was more dangerous for him than anything.

The Father also pointed out that his speech pattern tended to become more impersonal and posh, with halting rhythm and spasmodic breath, when his temper rose and he tried to control it coldly. Even if his respirator was gone, when anger was too strong, he started to speak like Vader again. 

So on and so forth, his mind and his body kept switching between recovery and setbacks. It was exhausting, but nothing unexpected. So Anakin kept going, kept fighting. 

And months turned into a year, and the man in the mirror was now very different from before. His hair long enough for him to tie them into a messy bun, his beard short and trimmed, his gaze more focused. The man in the mirror was no longer the stranger he'd looked upon on his first day. It wasn't himself yet, but he was getting close to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see the chapters are longer than the first ones, and they will continue to be so, so enjoy for those who like it this way and sorry for those who don't ^^'  
> Starting next chapter, the narration will go back and forth between Anakin and everyone else.


End file.
